theo at adorable-terrible two

theo is adorable. he'd me in the cheek, nose, forehead, and lips. unwarranted, he'd throw his arms around and gives me a tight hug especially when

he knows all the colors with orange and purple as his favorites. we're learning the shapes as of now

he talks a lot and can string words already, sometimes in sentences.

the extra challenge that is budgeting

i am inspired to write this because there were other misis who were curious on how our household was able to save when only one of us is working and yet we can afford little luxuries like traveling. according to them, it is so hard nowadays to budget their income and to see some money left for savings. the truth is, our household is not actually an exception. i am doing the envelopes system and logged our expenses diligently to track where our money is going but at the end of the day, i still get headaches over managing our budget. it doesn't help that the cost of grocery items we usually buy, the diesel, and the electricity keep on increasing that's why i have to cut corners in some of our expenses to afford them.

am not sure if these tricks would work for you but let me share them anyway...

1. we keep aside our savings first... then the expenses follow. had it been the other way around, it's definitely, surely zero savings for us. temptations are everywhere especially when you live in makati where restaurants surround you and malls are just a few kilometers away from the house. how do we do this? jude has two deductions from his monthly salary which goes to their company's cooperative and company's stocks. aside from this, we started to invest last year in a club share which is payable for three years thru post-dated checks. so definitely we have to allot for this.

2. we work on a budget most of the time, if not always. we always set a limit for our eat-outs, shopping, trips, parties, etc. i work on budget which is not only our household can afford but is also comfortable for us to spend (capacity is not the same as willingness). even for our monthly expenses I set a limit for our groceries and allowances. it's nice to have yogurt and expensive fruits everyday but that would mean more thousands of pesos to add in my budget. and oh... we also set limit on the financial support we give. this must be tough to some but we chose to limit it if we want to realize our financial goals for the family.

2. we go for the cheaper alternative if possible. it was three or four months ago when i started to observe that my monthly budget for food and groceries was already small. but instead of increasing its budget, which is not possible anyway since our disposable income is fixed until jude gets another raise, i downgraded to  cheaper brands for products like detergents, theo's diaper, cleaning products, etc... but that is, if quality isn't an issue.

there's also a wisdom in surf's lumen advertisement years ago... why buy oranges when you can get vitamin c from dalandan? and that's what we do now... :)

3. if applicable, we buy second-hand items. we realized the practicality of buying second-hand items for some of the things we want for ourselves. tour yourself around our house and you'll find some things which we bought as second-hands but still in good condition and at very affordable prices. the kids' slide, the narra chairs, and this desktop am using right now are just some of the few.

4. i raid sales and buy much as i can. i don't shop much at divisoria especially for our personal things... why? because the quality of most items there really suck. there may be good finds but i have to spend hours to scour the alleys--waste of time! what i do instead is raid warehouse sales of branded products during christmas season.  thanks to my network as am always updated. and as much as possible i hoard from these sales, usually for a year-long of use. this really saves as a lot of money since i seldom buy at regular prices.

5. we avoid unnecessary expenses. - other mommies were scrambling to have tickets for disney live but i did not not bother--i found its rates too expensive! and since my kids had already been to disneyland why would i bother to see them here in metro manila? i also cannot find the reason why i have to pay php 500 to run when i can jog or run in the park without touching my wallet. these things are really waste of money if you ask me.

and oh, by the way, i seldom check the groupon sites. if i want to purchase something at a promo price, i ask friends to alert me. such sites are full of temptations so avoid it if i must! hehehe.

6. we indulge, but there were trade-offs for this. our family loves to travel and we do this as long as budget and time permits. no, we don't feel guilty for doing this. because we do deprive ourselves too of some things we want like watching concerts or musical plays. cirque de soleil was here in manila last july and i was like, "oh, i need to watch them!" jude already gave me the approval to book a ticket for myself (plan was i will be just going out with a friend) but i backed out since it will still take php 3,000 from our savings and we just came from a trip.

we also teach the kids the same thing. we also let them splurge in some things they like but it's always that they must let go of another thing.

7. generosity doesn't have to be pricey for us - i cringe whenever people declare after christmas that they made their loved ones very happy with their gifts BUT rant about their outstanding balance in their credit card bill/s. this made me ask:. do we really have to put ourselves in a financial mess just to prove that we love our family and friends?

8. we try to be money-smart - hmm... how should i explain this? it's like when we have arrears in our dues but we're not in a rush to settle it since it doesn't earn any interest over time. so what we do instead is we use that money first for other things which can bring savings for us in the long run.

in a nutshell, it's analyzing first the pros and cons of spending, especially one which involves a big amount of money.

this ends my list of wise-spending tips. budgeting for me is all about setting priorities. we listed down what values to us most and it's where we bring our money.

hope i was able to help. :)

are we ready for weaning? (my love-hate relationship with breastfeeding at this stage)

it's already 9 pm and while i was hoping that I'd already start my "me" time theo was still insisting for more "mihk." (milk) i wanted to give in to his request but i was already itching to sit in front of my desktop and finish some business correspondences and blogs before jude arrives from work so we can sleep early tonight. i just let him cry and was hoping that he'd eventually realize nursing time was already up and doze off on his own. but 5... 10 mins had passed and he was still crying and begging for my milk. aghast! someone has to yield and again, i realized that has to be me.

it's an everyday scene in our house and it actually doesn't happen only at night... it can be at early morning, late morning, or afternoon. there were times when i thought he's happily playing with his toys but the moment he saw me seating whether in front of my desktop or in bed using my ipad he'd come to me, flash a big smile and utter "mihk?"

theo is already two but he sometimes feeds like a newborn. i was hoping that at his age i can only feed him two or three times a day. but it isn't the case and sometimes a feeding can take about half an hour. if i refuse to nurse him, he'd throw a fit, and this kind of emotional meltdown is what am not yet ready of and makes me feel a loser--a loser to a two year old!

yes, breastfeeding is the best for babies, even for toddlers. i still sometimes caught myself raving about its wonders, but at this point i think am already willing to discard them. should i already wean theo? at his age, how?

torn

i thought am already 100% sure i still want another baby, may it be a girl or another boy, and was glad that jude is 100% in support of my plan since he only wanted two kids, UNTIL our camiguin trip and i saw how convenient for us to travel with just two tots--one kid held by jude and one kid carried by me.

yeah, i know it sounds shallow and selfish... but don't we all think of what's the best for our family? and for my own, we see ourselves happiest when we travel no matter how tiring or expensive it is. even inigo loves to travel and at his age, he already has his own set of dream destinations and that includes russia and brazil; while jude and i both dream that the whole family can go backpacking in nepal or bhutan. am quite sure my boys will love that idea... but, what if we have a girl?

our love for traveling is just one thing. it's the financial security we're more concerned of. jude will already turn 40 years old few more years from now and while other dads his age are already sending their kids to high school or college, we're still sending our kids to preschool and elementary. he has to work harder now if he wants to retire earlier than 60 years old as we're still sending kids to school. so imagine the financial impact if we're sending three kids instead of only two?

lastly, the mommy (that's me!) still wants to go back to the corporate world--earn her own money and enjoy the fulfillment a corporate job brings. theo is already is already two years old now... one, two... or three more years and he's not that dependent on me anymore. i can already consider applying for a job again. but what if there's another little tot clinging to me? then i'd wait another three or four more years... ah! i'd rather forget about going back to work if that's the case because definitely no company will employ a 40 year old woman who had almost a decade of hiatus from a corporate job.

but having said all the drawbacks of having a third child, i know when it's given to us we will welcome him/her with all gladness. we will surely made him/her feel that we love him/her as much as we love his/her older brothers. i'm also sure that kuya inigo and kuya theo will be doting big brothers as even now they are already praying to Papa Jesus that He gives our family another baby, a baby sister to be exact. so i think that answers my concern... i leave it to Him... que sara sara. :)

inigo's unforgettable lines

i only got to post this in facebook but i must compile them all here so here they are...


while we were praying...

mommy: please make inigo always behaved and may he always listen to mommy...
inigo: (cutting me) please give mommy a lot of patience...

he just can't promise what i was praying for... hehe.

***

while mommy was about to use the ipad...

iñigo: can i play angry birds?

mommy: no. why do you want to play angry birds? you'll not learn anything from it.
(opened fb in one window)

iñigo: mommy, do you learn anything from facebook?

silence. :D

***

inigo: mommy, can you please put the password in your ipad?

mommy: later. i'm putting theo to sleep.

inigo: oh! can you just tell me the password then i'll type it? *smirking*

mommy: no. you have to wait!

kids are smarter than we thought, eh?

****

inigo: mommy, can you sing the song of justin bieber for me... the "baby, baby"?

i sang.
 
inigo: (disappointed) mommy, can you please sing properly?

i sang again.

inigo: (frustrated) i'll just turn on the radio mommy. you don't sing well.

grrr!!!


***
inigo: (over lunch) mommy, how will the fish jump to my brain? 

mommy: huh?

inigo: 'cause you said it's a brainfood!

yeah, right!

***

inigo: mommy, money--it's a rhyme!

i am not sure if it's a compliment or an insult. lol

when they grow up...

i sometimes find myself pausing while i pray, "Lord, please help me raise my boys into good men." if God would have probably asked me to expound and explain the meaning of 'good men' i'd probably be scrambling for words because the truth is, i wasn't sure. but God knows everything, even things left unsaid, so am sure He won't ask me anymore. hehe.

the answer has nothing to do about their future professions as i leave it to them. it's more about disposition and character--things which i find non-negotiable and may God help me to turn my kids into adults who have the greatest care for themselves and to others. it's for this reason that i see a new meaning in the job which i had a love-hate relationship with. now being a stay-at-home-mom is more than seeing their milestones and taking care of them round the clock; it is the fulfilling task of molding their characters and inculcating values thru our daily activities.

so what do i really want my kids to be when they grow up? to be good. and to be good means...

• to be responsible for their actions and words. may they say "sorry" if they were tacky; keep up their promises; pay for what they have broken; clean up the mess they created; and give back what they have borrowed.

• to be kind, generous and compassionate. may they feel for other people and try at least to help if it's needed. may they always have the heart to give what is due to others may it be a tip or gentle words. may they also try to initiate a conversation with janitors, taxi drivers, etc. as it will not only help them to be grounded but because they also need to learn from them.

• to be discerning. though i know kindness and generosity are valuable virtues they must be practiced with caution as not all people they'd meet have good intentions.
  

• to be polite and courteous. they don't need to be the friendliest people but i expect them to be not rude when speaking to other people regardless of their mood. may they also practice prudence at all times. some people i know are achievers career-wise but flunk in diplomacy in their dealings and correspondences.

• to be sincere and honest. mommy hates people who are double-standard and mediocre so i hope the kids won't grow up as such. may they be compelled to say the truth because it will not only set them free but because it puts justice in place. i want them to be real and transparent when appropriate. and may they not use other people nor be friendly with them only because they need something.

• to be brave. i want them to face and withstand the crises of life because there would be many. may that courage be armed with a lot of faith in God.

• to avoid fights and tussles. but if it can't be avoided i want them to fight with courage and dignity which means they only do so because they are just protecting themselves and their principles.

• to follow the rules and the authority. i know this is hard but i realized that humility starts in toeing the line.

• to be self-driven. may they have the innate drive and passion to do their best and aim high even without my push and admonition. may they not stop learning and discovering new hobbies. may they work hard in everything they do.
  

• to be humble and always grateful. may they realized that what they have are God's gifts; hence, they have no right to show off. i want them to accept defeats, failures, and limitations. may they not see the people below them as inferiors. instead, may they think that they are fortunate they were above them and must be good stewards of what they have.

• to be faithful and loyal. may they treat women with utmost respect by being faithful to their girlfriends/wives. may they also be loyal to their friends and to their superiors by giving them what they need like time/attention, respect, or privacy.
  

• to have strong personalities--assertive and charismatic. may they pursue for what is universally right. but may their characters not be strong enough to shove people away from them by always insisting that theirs are always the right and better.

• to set priorities and have the discipline to follow it. may they also have the discipline to shun away  vices (especially drugs!) and save part of their money for rainy days. may they keep their bodies healthy by exercising and by avoiding food that is not healthy;

• to be socially and politically aware because it's how they start to become relevant to their community. i want them to have causes. i want them to vote every election;
  
  
• and more importantly... to fear and love God. may they always speak of his goodness as it's the surest way to bring non-believers to Him. may they always follow his commandments and resist temptations. may they hear mass every sunday and serve Him in whatever way they can. may they not forget to pray and thank Him because it's the best way to pay back His goodness to them.
  

that is only a rough draft of my character wishlist for my kids. definitely some will be added or changed as years go by. but am happy that i was able to make this list as i already have a guide on how to raise them. :)

on playing favorites

this article made me pause and think for a while about my kids:

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/09/26/do-all-parents-love-on-child-more/

oh, well... I don't think i need a copy of that issue of time magazine because am certain that i do not play favorites. sure at one point i favor one kid over the other... there are moments when i marvel on inigo's beautiful face (sorry, it's his mommy talking) but it's so easy also for me to adore theo because of his charm and wit.

I remember when we were still pregnant with theo and we haven't yet found out about  the sex... I was wishing for a girl, not only because we already have a boy but I was afraid that people might keep on comparing him with his older brother and he might just always pale in comparison because his kuya inigo had already won the hearts of our friends and relatives because of his good looks and smartness... and I was more afraid that jude and I are among those people. but God is indeed amazing. He made my boys different from one another but in a way that each has his enough good points that make them both special for me and jude.

so, for my two boys: please always remember that both of you are daddy and mommy's favorites and no one is better than the other because both of you are the best... we both love you very much! :)

my two boys during their daddy's birthday bash

how financially healthy are we now?

the recent discussions in naw regarding investments and financial security made me remember the blog i did four years ago: http://8thoctoberweds.multiply.com/journal/item/18/how_financially_healthy_are_we

i left the items blank then but with hopes that i'll be able to fill them up within the next five years. now, after four years and another baby, our scorecard shows this...

	target amount		status
1. emergency fund equivalent to	Php 300k		achieved
six months' expenses
2. life insurance for us which is	Php 600k		achieved
equivalent to a year's expenses (exc. sss pension)
3. retirement fund for us which	Php 3 million		still saving via stocks
can sustain us until we're 70, or
probably 75 years old! =)
4. college fund for iñigo and future	Php 1M for each kid		still saving via pension plan and MF
sibling/s.
5. extra savings for other emergencies	Php 100k		replenishing since my father died
including grave sickness of other loved
ones
6. extra savings for travels and other	variable		achieved
leisures (or plans like business)

aside from those, we also have to invest again in a property since we already disposed our house and lot in laguna and will use the proceeds to pay as equity or downpayment. that means we have to allot again for monthly amortization of the balance. *headaches*

so can i say that we are financially healthier now? probably. jude and i are diligent when it comes to savings. we may have the moolah to buy the latest gadgets, upgrade our car... or buy myself a signature bag (but it's still my wish... lol!) but our future has to be secured first.  but what we cannot deprive ourselves are the annual family trips as we consider them as our reward.

but we still have to work and save more to achieve 'financial freedom'. jude has plans of retiring early but since past experience taught him to secure first the kids' education and our retirement, we have to work and save double-time so we can sustain our retirement. he also has plans of getting us a retirement house, in tagaytay or caliraya, laguna perhaps, so the more we have to invest now to achieve this.

these are just some of our dreams... let's see in my next update of this scorecard if they are already achieved... wish us luck again!

losing chickboy: iñigo's first heartbreak

the reason why i don't want yet the kids to have a pet is because they're still too young to take responsibilities in taking care of another being, much less understand the dynamics of life wherein people or things just come and go. i know they would have a hard time handling the situation when it's already time to say goodbye to things they have come to love; and honestly, i am not yet ready with an explanation.

that's why i wasn't pleased when iñigo got a pet chick from his school last friday. the teachers had this game of "agawang sisiw" for their araw ng wika wherein the kids should snatch a chick among the brood loosened out inside the makeshift pen they provided for that game. unluckily...err, luckily for iñigo... he got one. and so we brought it home and jude made an improvised cage for the fowl using a plastic box and he placed it under the staircase as it was raining hard last weekend. iñigo was so happy on his new pet which he named "chickboy" (after chicboy--his current favorite restaurant) though he never bothered to feed it or clean its shelter. I, on the other hand, was wishing that it will go away as i cannot stand the smell of its dung (okay... maarte ako! :D). it can also be a noise pollutant as it clucked incessantly. jude had to move it in front of our house and placed it inside iñigo's old ride-on-car so it won't get drenched even when the rain gets heavy.

but it was last wednesday night when our househelp noticed that there's no noise that was coming from outside. she then checked the box and to her surpise chicboy was no longer inside. she immediately told me about this and since chickboy can't also be found in the other units i surmised that somebody from outside the compound got inside and took the chick (burglary is very rampant in our baranggay).

iñigo got disappointed upon learning the news. but he wasn't that disappointed until after we said our prayers tonight as he already got worried over the plight of his pet chick. i was groping for an answer when he asked me, "mommy, is somebody already  cooking chickboy?" but instead told him that he just keeps on praying to Papa Jesus so the person who found chicboy will also take good care of it as we did. i was already feeling sad for iñigo at this point. i wished to lighten up his mood but was tacky to mention about a man from chicboy the resto, getting his pet chick because they have the same name. on this, he answered vehemently, "mommy, no, the restaurant man cannot get it... it's my pet!" the poor kid was already in tears. i further told him that the next fried chicken he will eat in the resto is probably chickboy--oh how naive i was to think that iñigo will also take it as a joke but obviously he didn't because the more it made him cry.

it's my promise that i will look for chicboy tomorrow which calmed him down and brought him to sleep. so there... anyone who had seen chicboy? or anyone who has a replacement for chicboy... please... GIVE THAT CHICK TO ME?!!!

musings on the long weekend and traveling

it's a long weekend. it should have been a great chance to travel even just out of town but we opted to stay home because aside from the stormy weather we can no longer afford another impromptu trip. the recent international travel, three family occasions/events, and unexpected expenses prompted us to dip into our savings which should not be the case as it's allotted for the downpayment for the house we're planning to get and also for the renovation which am sure is needed. i told jude as early as now that am okay with a very simple celebration for my birthday, just a lunch out with him and the boys perhaps. i'd rather give the budget to theo so he can have even a simple party on his 2nd birthday which is only a week after mine.

aside from birthdays, we are also looking forward for our camiguin trip this october, in time for our 6th wedding anniversary. but i still have to find moolah for our pocket money so we don't need to touch our savings again. i wonder if i can already touch my coin bank... :)

***

speaking of coin bank... do you still remember our trip to ilocos region almost two years ago? it was partly funded by the money we have saved in an empty 6-liter gallon of water which we converted as coin bank. i think half of the expenses were paid by coins. funny that while we're driving along NLEX i was busy counting the ten and five-peso coins as it's what used to pay for refueling and toll, and even for our food. oh how the gasoline boys and toll gate clerks loved us! :)

i hope we can still reach the ten thousand pesos-mark. it wasn't much i know but there's a different fulfillment that we get whenever we see our coin banks brimming. and yes, we're one of the hoarders of coins. hehe.

***

traveling can be costly and tiring, especially if it's with kids in tow. but it's quite addictive that's why we make sure that we go to other places at least once a year. jude and i also had dream destinations but unless we have the money to afford them OR we can take the risks in bringing the kids along, they will remain a dream.

case in point is the batanes trip which we planned early this year. i even almost booked a flight going there via sea air. but jude and i won't agree on whether we bring the kids  or not--he wanted to bring along inigo and theo but i think the boat rides are too risky for the tots. i just decided to cancel the trip. the reason that we can't bring the kids with us also holds true for a caramoan trip.

i also told jude that i want to do another trip to cordillera region (this place never fails to amaze me) like sagada or batad again while jude wanted even before to visit his family's hometown in albay in bicol region. but for all the places i mentioned it's the 12-hour drive going there which i dread about. i can already imagine the kids getting so bored and cranky, and me stressed over their behavior.

jude also dreams of greece and japan while i dream of new zealand. but we both agree that we should visit US and europe in our lifetime. okay... enough of dreaming! hehe.

a letter to papa after a year...

it was one year ago, at around 2 a.m., when i received a text mesage from mama telling me that you were in the hospital. my heart was pounding hard at that moment because i knew something was terribly wrong with you as before that day you phoned me to say that you were experiencing nausea and vomiting and was feeling weak. it was the first time you personally  called me to tell about your discomforts and from the sound of your voice you were like naglalambing... i told you to see a doctor immediately and to drink gatorade to replenish the lost fluids from your body, which i know you did. few hours after, mama texted me informing that you were already okay and was just sent home by the doctor with prescribed medicines. i was relieved. but i didn't know that later that night you started to vomit again and was weaker than you were that afternoon as you can no longer move your limbs.

i called mama as soon as i received her message and my heart pounded harder when i heard her talking frantically over the phone, "si papa mo bhe (short for baby as i am the youngest)... si papa mo...!!! doc, gawin n'yo lahat please?! babayaran namin kayo kahit magkano!" then dead signal. i was in our room at that moment and jude, who just arrived from the office, was standing beside me and was as curious as to what had happened to you. i was in total mess that time and couldn't decide what to do first. i thought of praying and i knelt to God and pleaded that He save you; called ate who was living in bicol that time to tell her the tragic news; then gathered the kids as we couldn't leave them especially theo. after ten minutes we were already heading to the hospital where you were rushed. i continued praying while inside the car as i was hoping that God would hear me. but when we were already half-way to the site of the hospital, a concerned neighbor of yours, who also assisted mama in bringing you to the hospital, broke the news thru a call that you were declared dead on arrival. it crushed my heart... in just a matter of hours, you who fathered me for almost thirty-three years is gone... and in just a snap of a finger, you who is so special to me was taken away.

you were already in the morgue when i saw you again. it was already your lifeless body which i embraced but i knew that you were just around and was listening to me. the more i felt so devastated when ate asked me that i just hugged you for her as she didn't think that she will have the chance to hug you once she arrived with her kids. if we really just could turn back the time papa, and ask one wish from God it is to have the chance to hug you before your last breath. i knew that it would be coming but i never thought it was that soon.

it was more than a year ago and i thought writing this blog which i attempted to write more than 11 months ago would be less painful. but tears are flowing from my eyes. it only shows that am still hurting over your sudden death. the regrets and what if's are still here but i must be reminded that God already called you to join him in heaven. there were a lot of nagging thoughts in my mind after your passing but time filtered it and now i had nothing but good to say...

i love you papa and i miss you so much. iñigo also misses you and you know what... he keeps on reminding me during our night prayer to mention about you to Jesus. he saw his picture with you during theo's baptism and he was happy that he had a photo with you.

i know you are already with our Creator as you ought to be. you were a good father. i would always remember the bonding moments we had when i was a kid... we'd bike around the neighborhood, you'd tutor me, you'd draw for me, you'd give me 25 cents everyday so i can buy the junkfood that i want. i know i wasn't a perfect daughter. there was a stage in my life when i thought you were so strict and i was rebelling. sorry if i'd given you heartaches and have caused you sleepless nights. everyone also thought that you were really good as even until your last breath you decided not to give us, your kids, anything to worry about. you chose not to be a burden and you even told me and jude that you are already happy and content to see your kids happy with their married life.

you were also a good husband. i never saw you lifting your hand to hurt mama. you were always forgiving and understanding. i could also not remember any weekends that you weren't around to spend it for vices. you were a family man. and together with her, you made a lot of sacrifices to send me and my siblings to good schools which i know were beyond your capacities.

and above anything else, you were a good man. you exemplified the virtues which you taught us such as honesty, humility, and diligence. the more i remember you as a man of principles. you fought for what you believed in no matter what you're going against at. and how can i forget your story of tocino? i got my big faith in God from you as i grew up hearing this story of yours as you loved to tell other people how God was so good to our family.

thank you papa for all the good memories... they were all saved in my memory bank. thank you for loving me unselfishly... i will pass this onto my kids.

and though i miss you so much i am somehow comforted by the idea that you are already settled and happy with Him. i thought right after your death that i already lost a father. but i realized that i did not, you were only flown Up to father us in a more special way.

love,
grace/marie/bhe

marriage encounter seminar

jude surprised me one day with a news that we are going to attend a marriage encounter seminar as announced in our parish. it was a good news for me and was so happy that i even made it as a stat in my facebook since the initiative was coming from jude. :) i really wanted ever since that we attend a marriage seminar as like other married couples we also have issues on our married life that i thought would be best answered with the help of a counselor who will give an unbiased, objective, even bible-based words of wisdom. let's accept it, in this modern times traditions and norms dictate how married couples should go about their married life and the basic tenets are usually ignored or forgotten. though jude and i are far from having issues which can break our marriage we both thought that it would be nice if we will get reminded of our wedding vows and responsibilities as well as husband and wife. uhm, nope, it's not a chance to be away from the kids as we brought them with us, along with our househelp. :D

so there we were in heart of jesus and mary retreat house in tagaytay last 13-14 august 2011. funny that jude and i were not in good terms when we arrived in the lecture room on the first day of the seminar--saturday--and i felt uneasy with him embracing me as it was required while we introduced ourselves to the group (we found out later on that there's a lot of hugging and kissing involved in this seminar). it was because he was dawdling earlier that morning even if he knew the call time which caused us to be late for the seminar--and being late and making a grand entrance is one of my pet peeves!

the seminar was a series of lectures that is based on the teachings of the catholic church on marriage, sharing by couple-presenters, and exchange of love letters between the husbands and wives. the love letters were related to the lecture/topic and were written at the end to give the husbands and wives the chance to express to one another their feelings, and to seek for confirmation and understanding of their thoughts on different issues. this exercise  which i believe was the core of the seminar was  made to instill to the participants the healthy and lovingly form of communication. there were nine couples who participated out of more than a hundred couples invited to attend that weekend activity. it was already after the seminar that i learned that most were non-paying and only us and the other couple who volunteered to attend paid the two thousand pesos registration fee. no regrets... we took it as a good investment and since it also covered our board and lodging, we think the money was really worth spent.

overall we were happy with the outcome of the seminar. though i found some of the activities quite cheesy (sign of old age? hehe.) like the prom night where the wives where greeted by their husbands with a red rose and were asked to dance to the music of gary valenciano and raymond lauchengco. i was also so eager for the activities to end as the kids were waiting for us in one of the rooms in the basement were they were cooped so as not to bother us during the seminar. it was already 11 p.m. when jude and i sneaked out of the prom and i almost broke to tears when i saw the kids' eyes swollen from non-stop crying. hay, i really can't still leave them even for one night... :(

the seminar was continued the next day, sunday, and a mass was also held right after it. i thought we can still tour the kids around tagaytay after lunch which i promised iñigo but the whole activity already ended at 4 p.m. with a graduation ceremony, complete with videoke fest. the kids were already sent in and my problem this time was iñigo tugging me every now and then as he was already bored and wanted to leave the venue.

jude and i were also surprised that we were chosen as the coordinators for the next marriage encounter seminar which is slated on february 2012. i really had no plans of getting active in the community (heart of jesus and mary prayer community) that organized the marriage encounter seminar as i had experiences of joining a religious community before and its activities really demanded a lot of time. but God really has plans for our family and who are we to go against Him, right?

bless your children

one of my best buddies forwarded this very inspiring email to me. it came in the time when i had one of the lousiest days as a mom as theo was super clingy and iñigo was such a headstrong. it was more convenient to nag and/or threaten to make them behaved as how i wanted to than to invoke patience.

this email reminded me of my foremost responsibility as a parent. until they can already think and decide for themselves i still am the biggest influence in their lives. my words can either make or break them so i have to be always cautious.

***

Thoughts on FAMILY - Bless Your Children by Victoria Osteen

 
We want our kids to be blessed

As parents, we can profoundly influence the direction of our children's lives by the words we say to them. Yet many parents fail to do so. "Oh, my kids know that I love them," a lot of parents say. "They know that I pray for them." Maybe so, but your children need to hear those words of blessing in their lives. And the good news is that it is not difficult to change the tone around your home. You can begin speaking positive truth into your children's lives any time you want. Joel and I try to speak God's Word into the lives of children in our natural, ordinary, "everyday" circumstances of life. For instance, when I drop our kids off at school, before they even get out of the car, I remind them, "You are blessed today. You have the favor of God."

Parents, you can do something similar. Speak God's Word over your children every day before they go to school or go out to play. You don't need to preach a sermon; just say something like, "God's Word says that He loves you, and He has something special in store for you today!"
 
Or pray, "You promised me in Psalm 91 that You will give Your angels charge over us and that no evil would come near our household. So I thank You that my children are supernaturally protected, and You are guiding them and watching after them. Father, You said that we're the head and not the tail, and You will surround us with favor. So I thank You that my children are blessed, and they will excel at whatever they put their hands to do."

Whether we realize it or not, our words affect our children's future for either good or evil. We need to speak loving words of approval and acceptance, words that encourage, inspire, and motivate our children to reach for new heights. When we do that, we are speaking blessings into their lives. We are speaking abundance and increase. We’re declaring God's favor in their lives.

All too often, parents slip into being harsh and critical with their children, nitpicking, and easily finding fault in whatever the kids are doing. "Why can't you make better grades? Go clean your room–it looks like a pigpen! You can't do anything right, can you?"

Such negative words will cause our children to lose the sense of value God has placed within them. Certainly, as parents, we have a responsibility before God and society to train our children, to discipline them when they disobey, to lovingly correct them when they make wrong choices. But we should not constantly harp on our kids. If you continually speak words that discourage and dishearten, before long you will destroy your child's self–image. And with your negative words, you will open a door, allowing the enemy to bring all sorts of insecurity and inferiority into your child's life.

Remember, if you make the mistake of constantly speaking negative words over your children, you are cursing their future. Moreover, God will hold you responsible for destroying their destiny. With authority comes responsibility, and you have the responsibility as the spiritual authority over your child to make sure that he feels loved, accepted, and approved. You have the responsibility to bless your children.

Besides, we all want good things for our children. We want our kids to be blessed. Why not put those thoughts and feelings into words? As Joel likes to say, "A blessing isn't really a blessing until it is spoken." Say those words aloud that will bless your children: "You are a child of God. God has good things in store for you. You are blessed and cannot be cursed!" Then watch to see how your child begins to thrive, how his attitude about himself will change, how her actions with others will improve, as the blessings of God begin to take root in the lives of your children.

inigo at almost five

it's quite hard to believe that our used-to-be small bundle of joy whose giggles and farts were sure to make me and jude laugh is turning five years old in two weeks. i was looking at his baby pictures lodged in my flickr account and can't help but feel nostalgic. he was our only baby then and all our attention was for him alone. now inigo is already a big brother to theo and i can honestly say that he does this role very well. we often tell him how good he is for not fighting back at theo - we know it boosts up his 'good kuya' points. :)

what also makes me and jude proud of our first-born is his precocity. i still find time to homeschool him and as of this date, he already knows how to read two to five letter words using phonics. he also knows the numbers up to 100 and can do simple addition and substraction. but the subject that inigo is so interested about, which sometimes consume much of his time is natural science particularly the solar system/outer space, dinosaurs, and volcanoes - i think he's obsessed with the last, no joke! he draws them everyday, checks them in the internet, and he goes to every detail of each.

inigo is also one inquisitive boy and i often find myself scrambling for age-appropriate answers to his questions. he already asked on how theo got inside my tummy, how his lolo joe was taken out from his tomb and ascended to heaven, who created God and why he created earth... and i was like "uh... let's check in the internet first'. hehe.

i've also thought that he has become more creative and resourceful. i was able to talk to his teacher last year and i was overjoyed to hear that inigo is gifted in some areas like spatial and visual skills. playing with blocks remains one of his favorite play and he uses this toy to express tangibly his thoughts and it just amazes me to find out what's going inside his mind. last holy week he surprised me by doing three crucifixes and pointed one for Jesus. i never thought inigo is that religious until that afternoon.

talk about being pious, inigo loves and never fails to read the bible every night - i am really one proud momma because of this! :) we already read his bible (the version for kids) five times already and we are back to genesis again.

on physical side, inigo seems to be on the lean side. people always comment on how slim he is now. these comments don't really bother me since inigo is still heavy. but i admit that lately his appetite for food fluctuates - there are days he eats a lot and there are days when i have to cajole or scold him.

but one possible reason also why inigo slimmed down is because he's now active in sports. we enrolled him again last summer in futbol funatics for soccer and what do you know... his motor skills and confidence improved a lot. he's alerady running for the goals and he hit the goal a total of three times in the last module.

...and how can i forget, inigo has learned to swim! this milestone really wowed me and jude, and the friends who knew about inigo's pseudo phobia for water. we almost backed out on his first day because he was in tears when he was asked to dip in the big pool. thanks for  the kiddie pool nearby as it's where he'd be warmed up first before the actual lessons. was also thankful that we persisted and on the fourth session inigo was already paddling and kicking without being held by his coach. i, the mommy, was so happy!

but  the biggest milestone he had as of this date, and one which made me happiest, is when inigo was finally convinced (take note: not forced and no crying moments) to use his potty trainer, and that started last april. so all he needed pala was a reward... we used the reward system and for every pooping done on the potty he'd get a chocolate or cup of ice cream afterwards. the 'grand prize' which he got after using the potty for the tenth time  was a timezone treat. since the, using the potty was never an issue - ciao diapers for good! :)

 

 

theo at 20 months: walking-talking

the last time i blogged about theo 'fears' were hounding me as i was quite worried of possible developmental delays since he wasn't yet walking and talking then. but as i believed, theo was only taking a slow but sure pace and he will walk and talk when he's ready... and that's what he did. at 17 months, we saw theo trying to do few small steps. days after, the few small steps became steady and confident and he was already striding inside our room but only for a short moment. it was inside the playroom in hamilo coast when jude and i confirmed to ourselves that "hey, theo is really walking now" as he crossed the big room by just using his feet.

 

now, at 20 months, theo is already unstoppable and he'd move around whenever he likes it.

 

 

 

it was only recently that we realized that theo was already talking. funny that i even expressed my worries to his pedia whom we visited for theo's booster shot one month ago. i never knew that theo's mumbling sounds already have meanings. haha. he calls inigo "ya" for kuya; "ghe" for she or sheryl, our househelp; "dhack" for duck and its sound is "dhack-dhack"; '"bibe" for baby; to name a few. now i just have to wait for him to string words together. i hope it's soon.

 

 

and what do you know... theo is one uber-jealous baby! i can't hug nor lean on his daddy when he's around or else he'll scream on top of his lungs. i also can't hug nor make lambing to inigo or he'll hit his old brother. he also has mood swings now. he's not always ready to give his smile, which was so unlikely of him. if he doesn't like to give the  kiss or embrace that our relatives are asking from him, he'll say "no!" and turn his back...   the baby has an attitude, a feisty attitude that is. :)

even his relationship with his big brother has now become 'sweet and sour'. they love to play together but give them a couple of minutes and they're already at war. it's usually because they're fighting over the same toy and this gives theo the reason to hit again his kuya for the latter is not giving in. *sigh*

 

 

it's probably because he copies everything that his kuya does that's why i find theo mature for his age. he usually doesn't want to be left behind - if inigo can do it, so can theo, too! hehe. he now wants to feed himself, read... err, pretend to read books, play with his kuya inigo's toys or games, and play with the gadgets in our house. which amazed me as he really knew how to operate them. :D

 

 

 

educating a child... how costly can it be!

it's mid-may already, four more weeks to go and inigo is going to school again. i haven't yet enrolled him since i still have two more weeks before the school's deadline and am hoping that the money we saved for his tuition which is still kept in the bank will double before the deadline... joke! :)

we will only send one kindergarten to school, mind you, and yet we can already feel the pinch of educating a child. what more if we're already sending two or three kids, or sending kids to college? i hope we're still able by then.

 

it's  just last week when i saw the facebook post of UST, my alma mater, with a schedule of tuition for the coming school year and i was  shocked that the fee for one semester now is more than php 50k while it was only php 8k during my time--almost seven times the amount my parents paid to send me to college. made a little computation and i figured that by the time inigo studies in college we need at least php 350k for one semester if the rate of tuition increase remains the same for the next twelve years. multiply the amount by eight semesters and we need to spend around php 3 million for inigo's college education alone. we're not yet even talking about the course which my son will get. the php 8k was the tuition in my college, which is AB (or liberal arts in some schools)-- one of the cheapest courses in UST. so how much do you think we should raise since inigo wants to become a pilot or an astronaut? *jitters*

jude was half-joking when he mused that his kids should become varsity members in college so we will be spared from paying for their tuition. hehe. i know it's possible but right now we're pressured to save more for their future. we realized that the pension plans we're paying for annually, which we're hoping to use for inigo and theo's college education, are not enough. they can only send the kids for two semesters and done.

***
oh by the way, it's not only inigo who's back to school this june. jude is seriously planning to enroll in a graduate course on environmental management not only to boost his credentials but also to earn a number of units in order for him to teach again (he was a former high school teacher in don bosco technical institute). so if the time comes that he quits his corporate job we don't need to worry on how we're going to fund the kids' education.

let's get fit and fab!

bad news. the results of our APE just came in this week and surprise, surprise, jude's cholesterol level is way beyond the upper limit of the normal range. (i hope jude won't kill me for telling it here, but as if it isn't obvious. hehe.) now he's in a strict no-fat, high-fiber diet. thinking of meals for him is quite a challenge since i don't want to starve my dear husband by just letting him eat veggies and oatmeal all day. though i already made some veggies recipes a staple on our table since last year like nilagang talbos ng kamote, sinabawang kalabasa at malunggay, ginisang ampalaya (yes my kids eat them! :)) but we also had guilty food trips which are usually high in fat, high in sugar, and high in sodium which is spelled as f-a-s-t-f-o-o-d m-e-al-s. now it's payback time. :(

but i know it's not yet late to change our lifestyle. we just really need to watch what we eat and get more active. i try to jog as often as i could now as time (and the kids) allow me. sometimes i tag jude along... and i tell you, it's addictive! the feeling after is so good that i want to do it again and again. though i also not to push myself too hard since am still skinny and also needs those fats! hehe.

but now that jude really needs to shed those fats that's i make jogging now part of our weekly routine. hay... am missing those pre-wedding days when we can climb and hike as long as time and budget permit. you should have seen the abs of jude then. :P

i pay it forward

there's a discussion in the forum i'm subscribed of about giving financial support to our parents as one member shared her problem to the group, which i no longer want to divulge, and received a quite substantial amount of replies and/or advices.

it struck a chord on me and made me think deeper on how should someone, especially a married person, should deal with this kind of concern. i know the bible already told us how and it's reminded to us in our wedding. but because we're only mortals and we either forget or ignore, that's why time comes when we feel we're clueless on what to do.

when i was still single i was obliged to give a part of my salary to help my parents afford our monthly expenses, especially when my ate settled down and stopped giving her contribution, which i understood. but when it's my time to settle down, my financial support also stopped. (though i was thankful that my parents small business which i partly funded was already flourishing and they no longer need my help) because for one, i had to divert my income to the family which i'll be raising with jude. except for car and some appliances which were gifted to us, jude and i had to buy and invest in a lot of things. then babies came along and we need to fed, clothe, and entertain them; hence, more money is needed. i left the workforce and it's only jude who's working for us and we need to budget his income wisely to afford everything we deem necessary. luckily his income now is quite better compared to what he had been receiving from his former office that's why we can also give a little to our own families.

another reason why i also chose to prioritize our family's (jude, me, and the kids) needs over our parents is because we also need to save for our future, including our retirement. another member of the forum said, "i want to end the cycle (of passing on the obligation to the children) with us and let not my future kids suffer the same fate as us." very well said. and i share the same reason why i asked jude to save for our retirement. i know future doesn't really guarantee that our savings would be enough to pay for our food and medicines in our old age but at least, our kids saw that we prepared for this stage as no preparations mean that we really intend to rely on them.

if there's one thing that i should do now as married child is to pay the goodness of my parents, but i know they understood that it's by paying forward and that is to secure a bright future for my own kids, and that includes parents who won't be a burden during their old age. i  know that's ingratitude in our culture, but i call it 'good parenting'.

how is theo? (theo at 16 months)

the last time i wrote about updates on theo was when he's 10 months old. shame on the mommy because the little tot is already at his 17th month and a lot of stories and updates have to be told about him! :)

since he already turned one last october 2010, theo is now officially a toddler.  and with a personality stronger than his kuya inigo, he is quite a handful at times. i sometimes refer to him as 'maton' since he seems to look like a toughie.

but toughies have all also their soft sides and it's being a mama's boy which makes theo endearing... he can already hug and kiss me! hihi. not to mention his boisterous laughs and charming smiles or grins which never fail to smitten us.

 

 

the little einstein

if there's one thing that i am very proud of about theo is that his cognitive skill is quite advanced for his age. he's already a keen observer and easily picks up what he sees around the house. i undermined this skill before and was shocked one afternoon to see him unplugging my laptop from the power outlet and  plugging instead the television as he wanted to watch playhouse disney. i think he was only 10 months old then. he also knew how to use most of the items inside our house like the comb, phone, keys, laptop even before he turned one year old.

he started early too with some antics compared to inigo. he loves me to sing nursery rhymes for him like "twinkle, twinkle..." and at 10 months he can already demonstrate some of its actions, something that inigo only started to do when he's already a toddler.

the littlest bookworm

i'm glad that i have instilled the book-reading habit to inigo as i think this has been passed now to theo since he always sees me and his older brother reading books especially before bedtime. at his age, the youngest member of our family has favorites already; probably because he likes to hear the rhymes, or probably because he likes to do the actions which i made up for every page. our reading style now is i read the book while he does the actions which he has already memorized by heart--cute! :)

the signing baby

i made sure that theo will also learn how to sign as it really served useful for us during his older brother's time. the first word he learned to sign is "milk" since it's also the first word i thought. hehe. it's followed by "eat" and "drink". now theo has more words up his sleeve such as "more", "thank you", "chicken", and "fish".

i hope he will learn more in the coming weeks... err, i hope i can teach him more words to sign. hehe.

the little headstrong

when it comes to behaviour theo is... ugh!... more terrible than his kuya inigo! theo is quite a brat. he throws tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants. and oh yes, this baby of ours hits, and he hits a lot! :S he hits when we say "no", when we say something which offends him, or when we don't give in to his whims. i hope this hitting will pass quickly as resolving this issue is not my cup of tea as it's not really much of my concern with inigo before.

the baby bull

what i love about theo is he rarely gets sick. the last time i got worried about his health is when he caught a cold virus when he's six months old. there were occasions after that when he had fever, two i think, but it quickly resolved on its own and he's well again.

i also find him sometimes in a wrestling bout with his big brother but thank God he never had bruises nor sprains. :D

the happy baby

theo remains to be a happy baby. he loves to play with his and his kuya inigo's toy, which caused the little fights sometimes, hehe. and mind you, he knows how to play with some of these toys. one time i saw him playing with inigo's toy helicopter. i asked him for it and let the tiny chopper run on our floor. the baby shook his head in disapproval and took the toy from me. he stood up and let it hover up on the air using his hand while he's making these little sounds "weez, burrrrr, shoo-shoo"--the sounds of the plane, car, and train all mixed up. hehehe. anything from a little babe is really adorable, right?

he also loves to play with his ride-on-car, which he got as a gift for his 1st birthday. but sometimes he wants to show that he can do something better and rides the twist car. it's amusing to see him driving this as he knows how to increase his speed using his feet. he's baby-no-more sometimes! :)

the tv-addict in the making

i know it isn't good for him but i can't help but let him watch the tv sometimes especially when it's his kuya inigo's viewing time since we usually stay in one room. he's an avid viewer now of playhouse disney and his current favorite is mickey mouse clubhouse. he never fails to stand up and dance when it's already the "hotdog dance" part.

he's a tv-addict in the making that's why i limit his viewing to one show a day. he tends to become so absorbed by what he's watching that he sometimes ignores my call.

do i need to say more... :D

 

development and milestones

- we went to his pediatrician for his routine check-up two weeks ago and theo was weighing 10.8 kilos. he's quite heavy i know but still far from the border of being obese. his appetite increased remarkably these past few months, which explains why he's heavy. i have already introduced formula milk for him, since i want to slowly wean him from my breastmilk, but theo, no matter what brand i offer, likes only breastmilk. hay, good luck to me!

- he's still not walking! :( my boys are late-walkers. inigo started to walk when he's already 14 1/2 months. i already expected theo to walk later than him because comparing their milestones, inigo learned to sit and stand earlier than theo. but i didn't expect that it would be this late. but we're not worried, just impatient, hehe, since we see progress on his motor skills every week. now he can already make a few steps, it's only his fear of falling that hinders him to walk further.

- his language skill also lags. i know i shouldn't compare my two boys but i can't help but always use inigo as my benchmark for milestones. inigo at theo's age now can already speak a lot of words, which are not only limited to monosyllabic. but theo's words are still limited to "bo" for ball, "boo" for book or other toys. and "eee" for jollibee or mickey. hehe. he has other words which i often hear but he uses them interchangeably so even me, his mom, can't understand him. i have already asked his pediatrician about these concerns but he was quick to reassure me that theo is fine and he just probably needs more stimulation.

i remember during inigo's time, my issue about my eldest was he isn't yet pointing with his index finger at age two, and since it's mentioned in baby books that pointing is a good sign that the kid isn't autistic i was really worried of what could have been inigo's condition. now it's my time to worry about theo. though he started to point with his index finger at nine months, my concern now is possible speech delay.

- i've already mentioned about his cognitive skill and probably because this one is quite advanced that's why the other skills lag. i also enjoy seeing theo catching up on my instructions. he knows my rules for him: don't touch the electric fan (rotor part), don't plug the electrical devices, and don't go beyond our improvised safety gate for the room. he attempts sometimes to break the rule but when he sees me glaring at him it's he who gives me the "no" sign. hehe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

hello, 2011!

i'm always giddy happy when new year comes as it's my chance again to put my plans on the table. new year also refills our hope and for 2011, i have nothing but high hopes for me and my family! :)

here's some of our plans:

own another house. on top of our wishlist for this year is purchasing a house in the metro, preferably within or near makati. in short, near jude's workplace. we're already eyeing some properties and it's up to fate which one is really for us (read: the one which the bank will approve as it's going to be loaned. hehe).  

target date of lipat-bahay: last week of march or april.

pursue our hobby. jude and i had been wanting for the longest time to climb a mountain again but pregnancy, childbirth, and child-rearing were always the reasons to abort the idea. but we promised to break the ice and try even just a day-hike. i know this plan is more feasible since i don't have to worry of leaving the kids overnight.

target date: summer

travel to at least two destinations. i said "at least" because more travel opportunities are very much welcome. :D but for now i have to be content with what we have already booked and discussed.

target date: first trip - february; 2nd trip - october, in time for our 6th wedding anniversary.

engage in a raket. this is more for myself actually as i realized that am already tired of my routines as a stay-at-home mom. :) i also have few hours now to enjoy, especially at night when the kids are already asleep, so instead of just wasting my time in front of the tv watching telenovelas or reality shows (oops... hihi) it's better for me to do something lucrative. i'm thinking of online jobs like that of a virtual assistant since i heard the pay is really good while the job is quite easy.

target date: may or june, after our moving-in

that's about it for now... i know some of them require a lot of will-power, particularly the last, that's why i pray that "procrastination" and "laziness' be strange words for me this year. :)

remembering 2010

i know this is too late (it's already february!!!) but i promised myself since the time i started this to end every year with a summary of the important events/happenings in my family. i know this would serve useful in the future... i just hope multiply still exists by then... but more importantly, am able to count all the good things God had given me and my family by doing this. :)

we started 2010 busy hunting for a place we can call our own here in makati only to decide last minute that it's not yet feasible for us budget-wise. we moved into this rented apartment march of last year and quite loved the bigger space we have.

except for the few and small trips/outings we did, nothing very significant happened in the succeeding months until august came and without a warning my father, or papa as i call him, died of cardiac arrest. this is my biggest heartbreak to date. i couldn't articulate the grief i had during those times because his passing was something we never thought of; hence, there was not even a single chance to say all the love and gratitudes we have for him. but i know he's happy now with his Creator... he should be... because my papa had always been a good husband and father and for this, we will always celebrate the life he spent with us. :)

i was already convinced that his party will be canceled since we were still mourning and my father's funeral and burial also made a dent on our savings but God heals and provides and it was 4th of october when we celebrated theo's first birthday with our families, relatives, and friends with a big party. it was my mother who told me to go on with the party since there were already major preparations made and it's also unfair for theo not to have one. lolo joe (my father's nickname) would have also wanted a party for his youngest apo as he was already excited for theo's first birthday even before he passed away.

another thing that we also thought of canceling last year is our trip to south korea but jude and i decided last-minute to push it thru since 1. he thought the trip would make me happy; and 2. rebooking the flight is as costly as the airfare we already paid last april. so off we went to seoul last november and though it was probably the most tedious and expensive trip (in our standard) we made it's also one of the best we had.

december and christmas came and we decided to spend the holiday season simply... needed to... :D but inspite of our limited resources last holiday season we still managed to enjoy the season and make some people happy. it's in 2010 that i realized that it doesn't always have to be bigtime to enjoy life and to show love. but what matters is i did something, small it may be, to seize the moment given to me. :)

thank you, 2010!