the boys' birthdays

i cannot sleep without making a post on my children's birthdays this year. they are milestones and milestones should not only be celebrated but documented, too.

iñigo's 6th birthday

it was on 8 july 2012. he thought of many themes including soccer, dinosaurs, and superman. but a month prior to his birthday he thought of the avengers as he became a fan after watching the movie. we held a small party for him at home and it was well-attended by our families and friends, as well as the birthday boy's friends in the building. i ended up wasted that night as i cleaned the house, cooked the party foods, and entertained the guests but it's nothing compared to the happiness kuya had on his big day.

the birthday boy.

with his friends, cousin and only brother

 

with the other guests (jude's DBMS friends and their families)

theo's 3rd birthday celebrations

it's celebrations as it's not only one, but two celebrations for our little boy's birthday this year. since his kuya iñigo had his 3rd birthday celebrated in jollibee (lesson learned: don't start a costly tradition with the eldest) jude and i felt that theo must have a jollibee party too for his 3rd birthday. but since his birthday which is 4th of october this year falls on a weekday we had to schedule the party on a saturday unless we just want to see few guests for the party (jude loved this idea though, hehe). so i thought of throwing a small party in his nursery 1 class so he can also enjoy a birthday celebration in school. he enjoyed both parties. why wouldn't he... he was loooooooking forward to his birthday since his older brother's.

at last, his most-awaited day has arrived...

party in school.

inside the car. i could sense that theo felt anxious and excited whilewe're en route to the party place.

iñigo and theo's surprise dance number which the crowd loved. the daddy joined them at the last part.

blowing of the candle part.

me and my adorable little boy.

baby angel

it was first week of march this year when i thought of buying a pregnancy kit because i had a hunch that i might be expecting as my monthly period is delayed. i immediately bought one and checked myself the next morning. two lines registered in the bar. jude who was home that time asked me about the result as soon as i got out of the bathroom. i was sobbing... and i could not explain why. i was happy but my anxiety was more overpowering. i felt a pang of fear. probably because i wasn't sure how i will handle three kids and if jude can provide for them. 

but my fears vanished as excitement crept in. we broke the news to our family and friends that we're expecting when the hcG test and the ultrasound confirmed that indeed a baby is growing inside my tummy. the boys are equally excited. inigo, who was already bugging me since last week of february on what would be the name of their baby sister... a premonition probably... made himself more busy thinking of baby names. we also started to orient theo of his soon-to-be role and we fondly called him kuya theo. he was delighted.

a picture of baby angel

but the excitement only lasted for few more weeks. i experienced bleeding first week of april which prompted jude to bring me to the hospital on a holy thursday. should i say i was scared? i was. i was so scared! i could not look at my underwear everytime i peed because i was afraid to see blood stains again. the experience was traumatic.

i was discharged that  night as the resident OB, after doing an internal exam on me, said that my cervix is still intact. i squeezed her hands tightly upon hearing that out of relief, and most of all, out of joy. but she asked me to go back after holy week to undergo another ultrasound so we can find out where the bleeding is coming from.

so we--jude, the boys, and i--went back to st. luke's monday after the holy week. we have to tag the boys along as we don't have anyone in the house to leave them with. did you read s-t-r-e-s-s? anyway, we proceeded to the ultrasound room and waited for my turn. i conditioned myself to think positive, even when i sense that there's something wrong when the sonologist was checking me. i mustered enough courage to ask why, what's wrong, which forced the sonologist to be upfront. my would-be third baby has no more heartbeat. tears welled in my eyes. how can a life grow inside me and die inside me in a matter of days? what could have i done wrong to lead it to miscarriage? then the sonologist called for jude who was out in the lounge together with the boys. i could not forget the smiles in their faces as they were excited to see in the screen the newest member of our family. if i was sad, jude was devastated when the sonologist broke out the news to him. as he described it, the feeling was like all the energy was drained from his body as soon as he heard the news as he was not ready for it. he was that optimistic.

we went to see an OB (mine that time was in the delivery room) right after my ultrasound. i could not remember her name, but she was a very kind doctor who assured me first that it wasn't my fault that i miscarried. it was really due to happen. my first ultrasound revealed that my embryo's size wasn't normal for her gestational age. but by twist of fate i forgot to bring the film to my OB in one of my earlier check-ups that's why i wasn't forewarned that a miscarriage is imminent. it was really bound to happen. not because we went to davao for a trip... not because i was still carrying theo... not because i was cleaning the whole house and tending two active boys.

that night, part of our prayer changed. it was no longer "take care of baby inside mommy's tummy" but "we pray for baby angel." we call her our baby angel and we know she whispers to Papa Jesus prayers for our family.

*** 
as of this writing, baby angel could have been one month old now if God intended to give her to us. i could have been planning for her christening and buying her outfits for christmas. but it's not yet her time... we will be welcoming joyfully when it is. :)

we're past the seven-year itch

i have heard of the 'seven-year itch' from another married girl years ago. i wasn't so sure of its meaning that's why i had to google it. *palms to face* learning its meaning didn't make me anxious for our marriage and that it might happen to jude... as according to its meaning it's the husband who will start becoming unfaithful after being married for seven years... but i did wonder if the husband of that girl indeed cheat on her as she seemed to be scared that their 7th wedding anniversary was already coming. hehehe.

oh well... i just thought of this 'seven-year itch' idiom because two days ago, 8 october 2012, jude and i celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary...

now let the scratching begin! :D

photo taken by iñigo in the beachfront of las casas filipinas de azucar resort in bataan.

theo at two

he's no longer a baby...

but he is still my baby! :(

oh, the bittersweet feeling of seeing your kids growing up so fast. i am more sentimental with theo because who knows, he might be the last baby i cuddled and smooched. that's why as long as he is still round and filled with baby fats he will remain to be my baby. hope jude won't smack me for doing this... hehehe.

adorable-terrible is the apt term to describe theo at his age

theo is officially toddler now that he is two years old. and just like a normal toddler, he is curious, assertive, and feisty. thank God that my problem with his verbal communication skills already ended as he can already talk... and he talks a lot which is sometimes a major concern in our household especially when we need silence. lol. he started to talk when he was about 21 months old as his vocabulary expanded, learning new words aside from the "b"- beginning words he can already say since he was around one year old. before he turned two he can already speak in short sentences. but it's in early 2012 when he was around 28 months when he turned into a chatterbox and he started to be a source of entertainment in the house. i can not forget the evening when i thought his tales will never end as it ran for about an hour and he just talked about going to office someday and working for me and jude. :)

while his communication skills improved a lot, his gross motor skills lag behind. he's lazy when it comes to jumping and hopping which toddlers often love to do. our only consolation is he likes to join in in his kuya inigo's football class and runs and kicks ball in the sideline. at least we know that his eye-hand and foot coordination is okay.

but he is still one smart kiddo. we even assume that his very advanced for his age cognitive-wise. he thinks like a five or six year old sometimes. he never fails us to impress us with his reasoning skills which made him earn the monicker "attorney" from our kins. he thinks deeply and observes keenly and they manifests in his pretend plays - something he likes to do even when he's less than two years old.

few of his many pretend plays

just like his kuya inigo, he also loves to play with blocks and he builds whatever he fancies at that moment. he has loyalty to some of his toys. when he was a little younger, he's so loyal to his mickey mouse plushy that he can never sleep without it by his side. but when he got to know of thomas the tank engine character, his old thomas train toy (a christmas gift for him when he was 3 months old) soon replaced mickey and until now he brings it anywhere we go.

we have already enrolled him in the same school where his kuya inigo went for nursery and kinder. but prior to schooling, he's already versed with basic concepts like the alphabet, numerals, shapes, and colors. speaking of colors... color orange is his favorite and the orange crayon is the only thing he knows to use for coloring. hehe.

what else should i say about theo.... oh, he's a very affectionate or malambing kid! he loves to give me a kiss and sits on my lap. he never fails to thank me for almost anything i do for him... "thank you mommy for my otmeal (oatmeal).... thank you mommy for my food... thank you mommy for my new shoes."  this gesture compensates for the tantrums and feisty attitude he's throwing around which can really test my patience. but i just remind myself... he is at terrible two. :)

inigo at almost six

only few days are left and it's inigo's birthday once again - he'll be blowing six candles this time. yes, my used-to-be little boy (this title is now proudly claimed by theo) is officially a big boy at six! is he excited for his upcoming birthday celebration, which we will be doing in the house? uhm, no... as he is very much excited that he keeps on pestering... err, asking me everyday about the food, prizes, and guests. and since he's already a big boy he chose a theme for his birthday that is already out of disney and nick junior's league - it's avengers. hay, little boy no more na talaga...

inigo playing the pinoy-henyo game during the mms kiddie camp last april.
he was able to guess the word in less than a minute, fyi. :)

his preference for toys now have also changed as he was into beyblades (although this one is short-lived), action figures, remote-control cars, and ball games. the thomas the tank engine and toy story toys which were his favorites before was now passed on to theo. i even sometimes find him quarreling with his little brother as to what tv show or DVD to watch as he'd vehemently say no to barney, mickey mouse, and thomas the tank, which theo currently adores. yes, they engage in 'fights' already and it's becoming frequent and bigger lately. HAY!!!

for the past 12 months (i wasn't blogging about him that long, hehe) i saw inigo transformed from a gentle-mannered, timid, and obedient to confident, friendly, independent but obstinate, blunt, and extra-naughty child. i love it that he now exudes this confidence that he can do almost anything and can play with anyone. but i have to cut it sometimes as i observe that he can be deliriously confident and he no longer regards other people's feelings. this behavior wasn't my problem before that's why i am quite bothered now...

i just want to believe that he's just being a child and it's normal for him to be selfish, show-off, disobedient, and rude sometimes...

OR, he's only asserting his independence and wants everything to be taken or done his way. i always hear "but why?" lately, questioning my decision in some matters like why i can't let him drink sodas or why i can't buy him a psp. he feels that he's entitled to anything and if he is not, he's at least entitled to know why. waaaaaah! can somebody give me an aspirin as motherhood is becoming more challenging for me lately?!!

but on a more positive note, he's getting more independent in the recent months as he insists of doing things on his own like taking a bath, putting on plaster strip to his wound, and even cutting of his nails, which by the way is becoming an addiction for him. i always find him cutting his nails every other night and if he isn't yet satisfied with his own nails, he'd also cut even his little brother's... minsan nga pudpud na. hehehe.

i am also happy that he's becoming healthy lately. since we brought him to a pedia doctor who practice homeopathy i observed that his allergic rhinitis and asthma (though this is not yet confirmed) attacks became rare. he also gained a little weight as he is now at 20 kilos. it isn't much i know though it also puzzles me as inigo eats well especially when his favorite food is served on the table. oh well, he probably got my "mabilis lang siguro ang metabolism" genes, something that i used to hear from the doctors when i was a kid. going back to inigo, it's probably also because he's also active in soccer for the past months as we send him to the soccer camp whenever we can, and mind you... stage-mom mode on... he's becoming very good in this sport. he'd always hit two to four goals every session which makes me sometimes wish that the coach will declare a most valuable player award at the end as it will be surely his. hehehe.

one of his milestones at age five: he joined the unilab run and finished as
one in the top 30% of his category.

aside from soccer, he's still fond of drawing, science and geography... give him these activities and i get a well-behaved son in a day.

this is my inigo at five. i hope that when he turns six he will remain to be the fun-loving, sweet, and independent kiddo i have but none of his pasaway streaks. i say, "good luck" to me. :)

another stellar moment for inigo at age six: being interviewed by news program "bandila"
about his visit to mind museum.

no extra hands and yet loving it... quite.

i am helper-less since last week of december 2011. the last helper we had went to their province for her annual vacation but few days before she's supposed to come back she sent me an sms saying that her older sister is due to give birth and she needs to help her with her kids. hence, she won't be going back to us. whether she's saying the truth or not i do not care. i've been meaning to ditch her anyway but i was planning to do it after we've transferred to this house. she had giving me headaches anyway with her sneak-outs and other forms of stubbornness. i was really willing to let her go.

so the next question is: am i looking for her replacement? the truth is no, i am not looking for a replacement. not now, not even soon. i am still enjoying the privacy that having no stranger in the house brings. am enjoying this life that i don't have to adjust or makisama to anyone. am also enjoying the little savings monthly as i don't have to give someone her salary, not to mention the regular supply of toiletries and whats-not. it's also good that inigo is becoming responsible as i ask him to help me in the house by picking up his and even his brother's mess.

but i admit it's hard to juggle the tasks of taking care of the kids and the house. my eyebags are getting bigger as my sleep is becoming shorter. i had to take more vitamins now as my energy can't keep up with the chores. even my quality time with the boys were affected. i can no longer sit down with them for more than 30 minutes except during inigo's learning time which we do when theo is having his afternoon nap, though i sometimes catch myself dozing off with him.

my life is bitter-sweet now but still i prefer it this way. as i've always said, i can bear an aching body but not the kunsiminsyon having a househelp bring.

he was just once my little boy

someone shared the video "the gift of an ordinary day" by katrina kenison with me and it brought me to tears as soon as i watched it.

here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olSyCLJU3O0&noredirect=1

i can give a lot of reasons why i can relate with ms. kenison's telling, and one obvious reason is am also a mom of two boys, who i now dutifully make peanut butter sandwich and baking soda volcanoes for. but there was one episode in my last week which already made me cry as it taught me to let go

it happened before the kids' bedtime. we were all--inigo, theo, and I--in the shower and i was giving the two boys a bath. i immediately brought theo to our bedroom after i have washed him to dress him up in his pajamas. but before we left i told inigo to wait for me so he can have his turn in bathing. it took me a few minutes to go back to the bathroom and as soon as i stepped in inigo proudly announced that he's already done with his bath. i was doubtful on how it went so i took the soap and tried to soap his neck, but he told me, "i already soaped my neck, mommy." i went down to his torso but he objected, "i also soaped my tummy." i went down further but he kept on telling me that it's all done. i paused then nonchalantly told this to him, "awww... so mommy doesn't need to give you a bath na pala." to which he replied, "yes, i can already do it." i quite absorbed the fact that taking a bath is already one of the many things he's trying to do on his own lately but i don't know what's with me that night that made me utter this... "so mommy doesn't have to take care of you." he cut me off saying, "but mommy, i'm already a big boy." note that he wasn't mad when he said this. he was in fact apologetic over the truth that he's now a big boy and he wanted to do most things on his own. it shook me and i realized that i was in tears. i was emotional. there he was facing me, my used-to-be baby who kept on calling mommy for everything but now wanted to have his freedom during bath time and in other things. and there i was, the mom, who's afraid of the future that she's already irrelevant in her son's life.

to say that we have to let our kids spread their wings and let them fly is easier said than done. too much struggle is involved especially for a mom who sees her kids almost 24/7. but i do hope that i will have the grace to learn to let them go when the due time comes. but for now, i will enjoy the everyday gift of having them and that i am the center of their universe.

inigo joined the kiddo-prenuer bazaar

inigo had been bugging me for the longest time that we hold a garage sale in our... uhm, garage. :) and for the longest time i've been planning to organize one together with my friends but for many reasons it didn't materialize. that's why when i saw the facebook ad of the organizer of kiddo-prenuer bazaar calling for participants i immediately inquired for a slot. luckily i was able to get one. inigo was so excited when he found out about this and told others that he will have a garage sale. lol

this bazaar is a first of its kind in the country as it's participants should be kids and the target market are also kids. inigo was one of the youngest participants at age five. but he was so excited and prepared for this event. prior to the bazaar day, he made his own flyer and paraphernalia which i directed him to do. he also helped me prepare the products he's going to sell, which are some of his and theo's pre-loved things and brand new and second-hand books.

he was also a good salesman during the actual activity. he was so eager to make a sale that he approached his customers with a plastic bag in his hands and asked them to already put whatever they're looking at in it. hehe.

we ended the day happy (and tired for me) as we're able to exceed our sales target. inigo had a good start as an enterprenuer that's why we're joining again this march 2012 - yihee!

by the way, the bazaar happened last 5 december 2011 in rockwell, makati.

our hopes for 2012

...is that we can transfer to a new house, and this is what we're going to do tomorrow :)

...travel to more places in the philippines, preferably in batanes and bicol, boracay trip is already booked

...have jude's old trooper replaced *fingers-crossed*

...save more for the kids' college education

...spend more time at home and catch up with our reading

...exercise more often and commit to our health and fitness regime

...for mommy to have a business (though im wondering now if i can still manage this as am already helper-less and i don't intend to get a replacement soon, and i also plan to formally homeschool inigo by june)

...and 'give back' more than what we used to in terms of resources and time.

...and probably to have another bundle of joy? let's see. :)

2011: another year full of blessings

another year has passed and i have to do another review of the year went by, which is 2011.

it was a good year for us, a very good one in fact. if i can ask God if He can pattern the following years to 2011, i would. there were challenges and problems of course but nothing major nor serious as what 2010 had given us. the whole family (except for inigo during the last quarter of the year as he was confined because of pneumonia) was healthy. we were also good financially. we traveled a lot. and best of all jude and i fortified our marriage by attending a marriage encounter seminar. we were also happy parents as both inigo and theo were growing up well.

we had three major trips and traveled to three countries and one local destination last year. one of these trips was unplanned but God probably really wanted us to be complete when inigo celebrates his fifth birthday so he gave jude a surprise bonus which covers our expenses. this was in malaysia where jude went for a business trip last july and we--moi, inigo, and theo--followed. since singapore was only a hundred or more kilometers away we decided to see for the first time this country.



prior to malaysia and singapore, we've also flown to hongkong last february.

lastly, we went to the island of camiguin for our sixth wedding anniversary last october. it was a grand vacation (we did nothing but sleep and swim in the island!) except for the 'grand' travel we did going there and back to manila--oh boy, it was tedious!

it's also in 2011 when we started some family activities like kite-flying and fishing. jude was complaining that we're spending too much time in the malls every weekend so we thought of activities which we can all do together but the kids, especially inigo, will also enjoy.

we also did few day trips to nasugbu batangas...

we're also happy and grateful that the kids accomplished many things and reached important milestones in 2011. inigo was able to overcome his fears and learned to ditch the diaper when doing #2. he also learned to swim and be more aggresive in playing soccer. while theo was able to catch up with his milestones and now amazes us with his skills and expanded vocabulary.

but what we're so happy about is we're able to give more time for our faith and serve God in 2011. it was truly a blessing for us since we felt that our marriage has another purpose aside from raising our kids, and we hope that this will continue until we grow old. amen.