he was just once my little boy

someone shared the video "the gift of an ordinary day" by katrina kenison with me and it brought me to tears as soon as i watched it.

here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olSyCLJU3O0&noredirect=1

i can give a lot of reasons why i can relate with ms. kenison's telling, and one obvious reason is am also a mom of two boys, who i now dutifully make peanut butter sandwich and baking soda volcanoes for. but there was one episode in my last week which already made me cry as it taught me to let go

it happened before the kids' bedtime. we were all--inigo, theo, and I--in the shower and i was giving the two boys a bath. i immediately brought theo to our bedroom after i have washed him to dress him up in his pajamas. but before we left i told inigo to wait for me so he can have his turn in bathing. it took me a few minutes to go back to the bathroom and as soon as i stepped in inigo proudly announced that he's already done with his bath. i was doubtful on how it went so i took the soap and tried to soap his neck, but he told me, "i already soaped my neck, mommy." i went down to his torso but he objected, "i also soaped my tummy." i went down further but he kept on telling me that it's all done. i paused then nonchalantly told this to him, "awww... so mommy doesn't need to give you a bath na pala." to which he replied, "yes, i can already do it." i quite absorbed the fact that taking a bath is already one of the many things he's trying to do on his own lately but i don't know what's with me that night that made me utter this... "so mommy doesn't have to take care of you." he cut me off saying, "but mommy, i'm already a big boy." note that he wasn't mad when he said this. he was in fact apologetic over the truth that he's now a big boy and he wanted to do most things on his own. it shook me and i realized that i was in tears. i was emotional. there he was facing me, my used-to-be baby who kept on calling mommy for everything but now wanted to have his freedom during bath time and in other things. and there i was, the mom, who's afraid of the future that she's already irrelevant in her son's life.

to say that we have to let our kids spread their wings and let them fly is easier said than done. too much struggle is involved especially for a mom who sees her kids almost 24/7. but i do hope that i will have the grace to learn to let them go when the due time comes. but for now, i will enjoy the everyday gift of having them and that i am the center of their universe.