35 days to go before christmas...

my goodness! i was checking my organizer this afternoon when i realized that it's only 6 weeks to go before christmas. you see, the christmas bug hasn't hit us yet probably because of the tons of concerns jude and i have. i am not even sure if there will be money left for christmas shopping as the expenses for the businesses (it's not only one!), house construction, and trips are piling up. but i already made sure that jude has my christmas wishlist as early as now so he can squeeze it in the budget. hahaha. the scarcity theory i learned in my economics degree is sinking in once again: demand increases while supply remains to be fixed--how true! we can only count on the company bonuses for the christmas expenses that keeps on growing and growing each year.

so much for my intro, i just want to know the things that we look forward to do this season. honestly, just thinking of them already makes me tired and... penniless. hahaha.

here's my list...

1. attend countless christmas parties. almost all units even how small it is has its own christmas party. there's the company and department's party, organizations and associations party, family and barkada party--we have all these parties in our list! of course we wouldn't go in these parties empty-handed. there would be foods and gifts to bring. speaking of gifts...

2. shop in crowded malls and bazaars, and make a list beforehand. did it ever occur to you that there's always two or three persons left in your list after all the shoppings you did because you can't find the best gifts for them? that's always the case for us. and since i'm a pro when it comes to cramming i would shop for a few more gifts before the noche buena begins. hahaha.

3. brave the horrendous traffic! actually, as early as now the traffic in metro manila and even in the other parts of laguna is already a horror story. and it doesn't help that south luzon expressway is under renovation. i now stuffed our pick-up with all the essentials in case we're caught in traffic again like what happened to us in edsa last saturday.

4. go to the bank have the bills broken in 20's and 50's and buy some ang paos (did i mention it right?). okay... we're kurips! kuripot, that is. as i've told you our supply is already fixed so we have to be more creative in terms of giving. aside from the inaanaks and pamangkins, we also want to give to other kids especially those of our cousins and friends. i remember my childhood days when i will be asked to fall in line together with my siblings and cousins as my uncle ben would hand us red ang paos. the older kids received four or five pcs. of twenty-peso bills while us--small kids-will be content with two or three pcs. of it.

5. decorate the house with our christmas ornaments. i haven't started so it's in my to-do list next week. thank goodness that i already bought a lot of christmas decors last year so i don't have to buy any this year or else my budget for gifts would shrink more. all i need to do is to resurrect it from the boxes, which btw is still in our former house in vito cruz.

6. buy iñigo a santa outfit! i told myself last year that this year's christmas is the best time for iñigo to start wearing a santa claus outfit since he can already stand and walk. gee... i can't wait to see my little boy donning a red santa suit. =D

he only had a cutie antler for last year...

isn't he a cutie in that picture?

i'm sure he will be the cutest little santa this christmas so you better watch out... =D

loving as your own

let me tell you the story of blessed. blessed is the petty cash officer in the company i am connected with right now. she's married for 10 years but without a child. she never conceived despite their (blessed and her husband) efforts to get pregnant--dancing in obando, fertility workups, novena to st. jude. she even shared to me before when i got the chance to have a small talk with her that she stopped working for a year with the hope to conceive. but it didn't happen and she went back to work. but what's good with blessed is she never lose hope that one day she will have a child of her own.

and that day came. i saw blessed last saturday together with her husband and their beautiful baby boy. alas, their family is complete! i was too happy for blessed as i know how she really wanted to have a son. i even saw her showing off her baby to all her friends in the office who also came to robinson's galleria for the fun day we organized. her husband was equally proud too as I observed.

if you were thinking that blessed gave birth this year... nope, the couple never got pregnant. neither did i see blessed donning a maternity dress months ago. the baby boy was in fact adopted. such a courageous act, don't you think?

one of my greatest fears when i was a single is blessed's story. when jude and i got engaged, that fear became more intense and so was my prayer every night. fertilility was one of my concerns even before we were wed. fortunately for us, we didn't have to wait and be anxious on the possibilities of us not having our own child because a month after the wedding, we were already pregnant. that's when i had the courage to ask jude what we might do if if having a baby only remained as a wish. he's open for adoption... and me? i was even unsure if that's an option. that's why i admire blessed for adopting another woman's child and treating him as her own. just like me and the other mothers i know, blessed takes seriously his baby's innoculation schedule, deprives herself of sleep to change nappies, and worries to death when the baby is running with fever. she would buy him cute little clothes and socks, stroller and feeding bottles and toys that are not needed. what a lucky baby i must say!

sometimes i wonder why there are childless couples when in fact they are more capable of raising a child than the other couples who cannot even provide three decent meals for themselves and yet have five or more kids under their names. life is really unfair. i could not remember where i got this idea, but it says that GOD really intend it as there will always be kids that are neglected, abandoned, orphaned, deprived of decent life. and that's what childless couple's role is in this world: to provide the love and nurture these kids need. as i've said, it's a courageous act and not all are willing to take someone who's not his own flesh and blood and sustain his life. moreso, love the child as your own. but for blessed, the child is a gift regardless of how he was given to her. her love overflows and someone else must receive.

proud of our unorthodox way of parenting!

if there’s one thing that irks me the most as a mother is when i get unsolicited comments and advices on how we should raise our son according to their standards as our parenting practices is unacceptable. but what the heck! i didn’t ask for their opinion anyway. am happy with how jude and i fare as parents and i see that iñigo is pretty happy as well.

 

call me proud or stubborn but i will have it my way as long as i know that it’s the best for my son and it doesn’t inflict him any harm, at the least. parenting is not an easy job, that’s why i ready myself as early as i could as i never wanted to enter motherhood unprepared. i researched, i read, i asked. i can’t take the reason “sabi ng mga matatanda” to justify why i should or should not do such a thing to my son. my brain isn’t trained to think that way.

 

and i don’t think some people would pay me the same respect that am getting from them now, including my ate, a mother of three kids. she even thought that i did better than her in some facets. she’s impressed of my achievement of having successfully breastfeed her nephew even until this day. i told her it wasn’t that easy for me at the start. i was on the verge of giving up. but i never lost hope that one day there’s a fountain of milk that will flow down from my breasts. if it wasn’t for my stubbornness it would be too soon for my son to feed milk other than the one coming from me. some people were telling me that i should stop with breastfeeding because i wasn’t producing enough. one look at the milk i expressed made me feel more guilty. hahaha. but i shut my eyes and turned deaf ears to people around me. now, they are wowed on far i’ve come.

 

and we co-sleep with our child since his fourth day, which again is being frowned upon by some people. “you are spoiling him”, as they say. it’s also the same thing you’ll hear when you carry your child in your arms always. but spoiling for me means giving something to your kid that he will make him rot. i don’t think constant showing of affection is one. i even wished that i would wear iñigo, put him in a sling and carry him all the time. but i wasn’t that keen, with the next baby perhaps.

 

there are lot more things that we do and we don’t do that’s beyond bounds of conventional parenting. we bring iñigo along in our travels as we think that that the pros outweigh the cons of bringing him along; i didn’t massage his legs as i was told as i learned that babies are bowlegged in nature; i let him out even at night as i don’t believe in hamog; i give him another bath at night as he already stinks; and i give him more nutritious food other than those in jars or boxes.

 

but more than that, we give to iñigo what he needed most from us--our time--and we make sure that we spend it more with him. we sing songs and read books for him; we play balls or any other game he enjoys doing; we take him along to any place as long as it’s permitted; we cuddle and tickle him until he gets tired of laughing; we make most of our time together because we know that’s what really matter.

 

all of those we do to our son. you may find us incapable but that’s the most that we can do as parents.

 

at this point i would like to commend jude for being a wonderful father. parenting is never easy as i shared but i never heard him complain even if it means waking up at the middle of the night to give medicines to iñigo as it’s his schedule… while mine is in the morning. madaya ba? hehehe.

 

we are really lucky to have him as not all fathers are that doting to their kids… and are agreeing to their wives’ unorthodox style of parenting.

 

but he is.