so what's really the best for my kids?

this post is a continuation of my recent blog on the generation of indulgents as i realized that my son is not really one of them and i began to ask myself that question after realizing that my son was not like the other kids who had all the crocs for his footwear, the most expensive toddler's milk as his supplementary food, the grandest party for his first birthday that i can only read in one of the forums i'm a member of, the signature brands for his shirts and pants, and whatever best i can give to him.

i don't even think that we can even give the best and expensive things for our coming second baby and just be like kuya iñigo who has only a second-hand car seat and who never had a try of gerber because mommy preferred to give him real food. some people may pity my children but with all pride, i think we've given our best, particular me. as the old adage goes, the best things in life are free. =)

i breastfed him, and longer than i've should. mother's milk is the best milk. no one can dispute that as all researches made proved that breastmilk can boost the baby's immune system, increase his IQ level (higher than what those milk companies are claiming!) and EQ level as well, decrease the child's risk for life-threating diseases like diabetes and hypertension later on in life, and so much more benefits that not even the most expensive formula milk can give.

and some of you may know it was not easy for me to exclusively breastfeed him as i was still working full-time that time and expressing and stocking up milk was the only option when i was at work. it took me a lot of effort to do it as i wasn't the "dairy farm" type. there were midnights when i worked double-time as my stock in the freezer was running low. there were also moments when i cried over spilled or spoiled milk, or panicked when there's a major blackout while there's still some ounces of expressed milk inside our freezer compartment. jude even received my wrath one time when he forgot to re-plug our ref after a short brownout. i was really that loyal to breastfeeding, and that's because i felt that iñigo deserved nothing else but the "best milk".

we spend more time with him, especially me. i had this book, "the baby book" by dr. sears, which inspired me to be a stay-at-home-mom. there's a whole chapter there that talks about attachment parenting and it says there that there's nothing more important to an infant, and even to a young child, than the time spent by a parent, especially the mom, with her baby. there were some reasons and justifications mentioned but i only appreciated dr. sear's wisdom only when i already stopped working full-time and i already had more time playing and learning with iñigo. and the book was right, no other caregiver will have the same love and concern for the child than his parents; no one but a mom will put aside her chore when the child asked her to read a book because his learning is far more important than the laundry or house-cleaning; and only a mom can comfort the pain of a child who just bumped his head to the wall or bruised his knee while running. just the smile of my son when i instantly act on his requests or sentiments tell me that i did the right thing.

i had nothing against working as i know how hard life is right now but as i have said to jude, if we can afford to live in one income for the meantime while the kids (i was not only thinking of iñigo but one more offspring too) are still young and still need to be properly guided, aside from the fact that we're both praning parents who can't leave them with just a yaya, then i will sacrifice my career. we can adjust our lifestyle and only spend for the essentials if that's what our budget dictates. i heard this from other moms and even from my own mother: that a young child will trade off her new toys or milk just to see her mom more often in the house. they'd just pout when you didn't buy them the toy they liked but when they saw you dressing up for work, the pleadings that you just stay home and crying wouldn't stop. i knew this by experience and i love the fact that to my son i matter more than a new toy. =)

preparing to have them the best education. i am not in a position to talk about this since iñigo is just turning three and i feel that enrolling him in the best preschool will not guarantee a bright future for him. but we know some people who just went to public schools for their primary education but managed to go to harvard for their post-graduate. and this really made me think... what made them excellent on their fields inspite of their poverty? i also remember the news before about a lass from a public school in palawan who topped the NSAT, beating the students from la salle, ateneo, or assumptions--schools with students who have all the books and supplements and who can review for exams without worrying if their tuition has already been paid... what made this poor girl be the best among her batch? she definitely did not go to a good preschool. she was interviewed and she told about her parents being supportive of her studies. if i recall it right, her mother was a public school teacher and had been her "other teacher" since she was young. hmm... she was also homeschooled. again, it boils down to the time and commitment of the parents in raising their kids.

but of course, there's also nothing wrong if i dream of sending my kids to the best colleges abroad and pay for it if we could, don't you think? time now to build the "college education basket"... =)

those are the only best things i can think of giving to my kids, well, aside from prepping them up to be a good christians and citizens who have concerns for other people, society (go to rallies if they must, hehe), environment (their daddy will disown them if they don't), and their country (they must cast their votes every election).

i had nothing to add aside from these.