theo at adorable-terrible two

theo is adorable. he'd me in the cheek, nose, forehead, and lips. unwarranted, he'd throw his arms around and gives me a tight hug especially when

he knows all the colors with orange and purple as his favorites. we're learning the shapes as of now

he talks a lot and can string words already, sometimes in sentences.

the extra challenge that is budgeting

i am inspired to write this because there were other misis who were curious on how our household was able to save when only one of us is working and yet we can afford little luxuries like traveling. according to them, it is so hard nowadays to budget their income and to see some money left for savings. the truth is, our household is not actually an exception. i am doing the envelopes system and logged our expenses diligently to track where our money is going but at the end of the day, i still get headaches over managing our budget. it doesn't help that the cost of grocery items we usually buy, the diesel, and the electricity keep on increasing that's why i have to cut corners in some of our expenses to afford them.

am not sure if these tricks would work for you but let me share them anyway...

1. we keep aside our savings first... then the expenses follow. had it been the other way around, it's definitely, surely zero savings for us. temptations are everywhere especially when you live in makati where restaurants surround you and malls are just a few kilometers away from the house. how do we do this? jude has two deductions from his monthly salary which goes to their company's cooperative and company's stocks. aside from this, we started to invest last year in a club share which is payable for three years thru post-dated checks. so definitely we have to allot for this.

2. we work on a budget most of the time, if not always. we always set a limit for our eat-outs, shopping, trips, parties, etc. i work on budget which is not only our household can afford but is also comfortable for us to spend (capacity is not the same as willingness). even for our monthly expenses I set a limit for our groceries and allowances. it's nice to have yogurt and expensive fruits everyday but that would mean more thousands of pesos to add in my budget. and oh... we also set limit on the financial support we give. this must be tough to some but we chose to limit it if we want to realize our financial goals for the family.

2. we go for the cheaper alternative if possible. it was three or four months ago when i started to observe that my monthly budget for food and groceries was already small. but instead of increasing its budget, which is not possible anyway since our disposable income is fixed until jude gets another raise, i downgraded to  cheaper brands for products like detergents, theo's diaper, cleaning products, etc... but that is, if quality isn't an issue.

there's also a wisdom in surf's lumen advertisement years ago... why buy oranges when you can get vitamin c from dalandan? and that's what we do now... :)

3. if applicable, we buy second-hand items. we realized the practicality of buying second-hand items for some of the things we want for ourselves. tour yourself around our house and you'll find some things which we bought as second-hands but still in good condition and at very affordable prices. the kids' slide, the narra chairs, and this desktop am using right now are just some of the few.

4. i raid sales and buy much as i can. i don't shop much at divisoria especially for our personal things... why? because the quality of most items there really suck. there may be good finds but i have to spend hours to scour the alleys--waste of time! what i do instead is raid warehouse sales of branded products during christmas season.  thanks to my network as am always updated. and as much as possible i hoard from these sales, usually for a year-long of use. this really saves as a lot of money since i seldom buy at regular prices.

5. we avoid unnecessary expenses. - other mommies were scrambling to have tickets for disney live but i did not not bother--i found its rates too expensive! and since my kids had already been to disneyland why would i bother to see them here in metro manila? i also cannot find the reason why i have to pay php 500 to run when i can jog or run in the park without touching my wallet. these things are really waste of money if you ask me.

and oh, by the way, i seldom check the groupon sites. if i want to purchase something at a promo price, i ask friends to alert me. such sites are full of temptations so avoid it if i must! hehehe.

6. we indulge, but there were trade-offs for this. our family loves to travel and we do this as long as budget and time permits. no, we don't feel guilty for doing this. because we do deprive ourselves too of some things we want like watching concerts or musical plays. cirque de soleil was here in manila last july and i was like, "oh, i need to watch them!" jude already gave me the approval to book a ticket for myself (plan was i will be just going out with a friend) but i backed out since it will still take php 3,000 from our savings and we just came from a trip.

we also teach the kids the same thing. we also let them splurge in some things they like but it's always that they must let go of another thing.

7. generosity doesn't have to be pricey for us - i cringe whenever people declare after christmas that they made their loved ones very happy with their gifts BUT rant about their outstanding balance in their credit card bill/s. this made me ask:. do we really have to put ourselves in a financial mess just to prove that we love our family and friends?

8. we try to be money-smart - hmm... how should i explain this? it's like when we have arrears in our dues but we're not in a rush to settle it since it doesn't earn any interest over time. so what we do instead is we use that money first for other things which can bring savings for us in the long run.

in a nutshell, it's analyzing first the pros and cons of spending, especially one which involves a big amount of money.

this ends my list of wise-spending tips. budgeting for me is all about setting priorities. we listed down what values to us most and it's where we bring our money.

hope i was able to help. :)

are we ready for weaning? (my love-hate relationship with breastfeeding at this stage)

it's already 9 pm and while i was hoping that I'd already start my "me" time theo was still insisting for more "mihk." (milk) i wanted to give in to his request but i was already itching to sit in front of my desktop and finish some business correspondences and blogs before jude arrives from work so we can sleep early tonight. i just let him cry and was hoping that he'd eventually realize nursing time was already up and doze off on his own. but 5... 10 mins had passed and he was still crying and begging for my milk. aghast! someone has to yield and again, i realized that has to be me.

it's an everyday scene in our house and it actually doesn't happen only at night... it can be at early morning, late morning, or afternoon. there were times when i thought he's happily playing with his toys but the moment he saw me seating whether in front of my desktop or in bed using my ipad he'd come to me, flash a big smile and utter "mihk?"

theo is already two but he sometimes feeds like a newborn. i was hoping that at his age i can only feed him two or three times a day. but it isn't the case and sometimes a feeding can take about half an hour. if i refuse to nurse him, he'd throw a fit, and this kind of emotional meltdown is what am not yet ready of and makes me feel a loser--a loser to a two year old!

yes, breastfeeding is the best for babies, even for toddlers. i still sometimes caught myself raving about its wonders, but at this point i think am already willing to discard them. should i already wean theo? at his age, how?

torn

i thought am already 100% sure i still want another baby, may it be a girl or another boy, and was glad that jude is 100% in support of my plan since he only wanted two kids, UNTIL our camiguin trip and i saw how convenient for us to travel with just two tots--one kid held by jude and one kid carried by me.

yeah, i know it sounds shallow and selfish... but don't we all think of what's the best for our family? and for my own, we see ourselves happiest when we travel no matter how tiring or expensive it is. even inigo loves to travel and at his age, he already has his own set of dream destinations and that includes russia and brazil; while jude and i both dream that the whole family can go backpacking in nepal or bhutan. am quite sure my boys will love that idea... but, what if we have a girl?

our love for traveling is just one thing. it's the financial security we're more concerned of. jude will already turn 40 years old few more years from now and while other dads his age are already sending their kids to high school or college, we're still sending our kids to preschool and elementary. he has to work harder now if he wants to retire earlier than 60 years old as we're still sending kids to school. so imagine the financial impact if we're sending three kids instead of only two?

lastly, the mommy (that's me!) still wants to go back to the corporate world--earn her own money and enjoy the fulfillment a corporate job brings. theo is already is already two years old now... one, two... or three more years and he's not that dependent on me anymore. i can already consider applying for a job again. but what if there's another little tot clinging to me? then i'd wait another three or four more years... ah! i'd rather forget about going back to work if that's the case because definitely no company will employ a 40 year old woman who had almost a decade of hiatus from a corporate job.

but having said all the drawbacks of having a third child, i know when it's given to us we will welcome him/her with all gladness. we will surely made him/her feel that we love him/her as much as we love his/her older brothers. i'm also sure that kuya inigo and kuya theo will be doting big brothers as even now they are already praying to Papa Jesus that He gives our family another baby, a baby sister to be exact. so i think that answers my concern... i leave it to Him... que sara sara. :)

inigo's unforgettable lines

i only got to post this in facebook but i must compile them all here so here they are...


while we were praying...

mommy: please make inigo always behaved and may he always listen to mommy...
inigo: (cutting me) please give mommy a lot of patience...

he just can't promise what i was praying for... hehe.

***

while mommy was about to use the ipad...

iñigo: can i play angry birds?

mommy: no. why do you want to play angry birds? you'll not learn anything from it.
(opened fb in one window)

iñigo: mommy, do you learn anything from facebook?

silence. :D

***

inigo: mommy, can you please put the password in your ipad?

mommy: later. i'm putting theo to sleep.

inigo: oh! can you just tell me the password then i'll type it? *smirking*

mommy: no. you have to wait!

kids are smarter than we thought, eh?

****

inigo: mommy, can you sing the song of justin bieber for me... the "baby, baby"?

i sang.
 
inigo: (disappointed) mommy, can you please sing properly?

i sang again.

inigo: (frustrated) i'll just turn on the radio mommy. you don't sing well.

grrr!!!


***
inigo: (over lunch) mommy, how will the fish jump to my brain? 

mommy: huh?

inigo: 'cause you said it's a brainfood!

yeah, right!

***

inigo: mommy, money--it's a rhyme!

i am not sure if it's a compliment or an insult. lol

when they grow up...

i sometimes find myself pausing while i pray, "Lord, please help me raise my boys into good men." if God would have probably asked me to expound and explain the meaning of 'good men' i'd probably be scrambling for words because the truth is, i wasn't sure. but God knows everything, even things left unsaid, so am sure He won't ask me anymore. hehe.

the answer has nothing to do about their future professions as i leave it to them. it's more about disposition and character--things which i find non-negotiable and may God help me to turn my kids into adults who have the greatest care for themselves and to others. it's for this reason that i see a new meaning in the job which i had a love-hate relationship with. now being a stay-at-home-mom is more than seeing their milestones and taking care of them round the clock; it is the fulfilling task of molding their characters and inculcating values thru our daily activities.

so what do i really want my kids to be when they grow up? to be good. and to be good means...

• to be responsible for their actions and words. may they say "sorry" if they were tacky; keep up their promises; pay for what they have broken; clean up the mess they created; and give back what they have borrowed.

• to be kind, generous and compassionate. may they feel for other people and try at least to help if it's needed. may they always have the heart to give what is due to others may it be a tip or gentle words. may they also try to initiate a conversation with janitors, taxi drivers, etc. as it will not only help them to be grounded but because they also need to learn from them.

• to be discerning. though i know kindness and generosity are valuable virtues they must be practiced with caution as not all people they'd meet have good intentions.
  

• to be polite and courteous. they don't need to be the friendliest people but i expect them to be not rude when speaking to other people regardless of their mood. may they also practice prudence at all times. some people i know are achievers career-wise but flunk in diplomacy in their dealings and correspondences.

• to be sincere and honest. mommy hates people who are double-standard and mediocre so i hope the kids won't grow up as such. may they be compelled to say the truth because it will not only set them free but because it puts justice in place. i want them to be real and transparent when appropriate. and may they not use other people nor be friendly with them only because they need something.

• to be brave. i want them to face and withstand the crises of life because there would be many. may that courage be armed with a lot of faith in God.

• to avoid fights and tussles. but if it can't be avoided i want them to fight with courage and dignity which means they only do so because they are just protecting themselves and their principles.

• to follow the rules and the authority. i know this is hard but i realized that humility starts in toeing the line.

• to be self-driven. may they have the innate drive and passion to do their best and aim high even without my push and admonition. may they not stop learning and discovering new hobbies. may they work hard in everything they do.
  

• to be humble and always grateful. may they realized that what they have are God's gifts; hence, they have no right to show off. i want them to accept defeats, failures, and limitations. may they not see the people below them as inferiors. instead, may they think that they are fortunate they were above them and must be good stewards of what they have.

• to be faithful and loyal. may they treat women with utmost respect by being faithful to their girlfriends/wives. may they also be loyal to their friends and to their superiors by giving them what they need like time/attention, respect, or privacy.
  

• to have strong personalities--assertive and charismatic. may they pursue for what is universally right. but may their characters not be strong enough to shove people away from them by always insisting that theirs are always the right and better.

• to set priorities and have the discipline to follow it. may they also have the discipline to shun away  vices (especially drugs!) and save part of their money for rainy days. may they keep their bodies healthy by exercising and by avoiding food that is not healthy;

• to be socially and politically aware because it's how they start to become relevant to their community. i want them to have causes. i want them to vote every election;
  
  
• and more importantly... to fear and love God. may they always speak of his goodness as it's the surest way to bring non-believers to Him. may they always follow his commandments and resist temptations. may they hear mass every sunday and serve Him in whatever way they can. may they not forget to pray and thank Him because it's the best way to pay back His goodness to them.
  

that is only a rough draft of my character wishlist for my kids. definitely some will be added or changed as years go by. but am happy that i was able to make this list as i already have a guide on how to raise them. :)

on playing favorites

this article made me pause and think for a while about my kids:

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/09/26/do-all-parents-love-on-child-more/

oh, well... I don't think i need a copy of that issue of time magazine because am certain that i do not play favorites. sure at one point i favor one kid over the other... there are moments when i marvel on inigo's beautiful face (sorry, it's his mommy talking) but it's so easy also for me to adore theo because of his charm and wit.

I remember when we were still pregnant with theo and we haven't yet found out about  the sex... I was wishing for a girl, not only because we already have a boy but I was afraid that people might keep on comparing him with his older brother and he might just always pale in comparison because his kuya inigo had already won the hearts of our friends and relatives because of his good looks and smartness... and I was more afraid that jude and I are among those people. but God is indeed amazing. He made my boys different from one another but in a way that each has his enough good points that make them both special for me and jude.

so, for my two boys: please always remember that both of you are daddy and mommy's favorites and no one is better than the other because both of you are the best... we both love you very much! :)

my two boys during their daddy's birthday bash