are we ready for weaning? (my love-hate relationship with breastfeeding at this stage)

it's already 9 pm and while i was hoping that I'd already start my "me" time theo was still insisting for more "mihk." (milk) i wanted to give in to his request but i was already itching to sit in front of my desktop and finish some business correspondences and blogs before jude arrives from work so we can sleep early tonight. i just let him cry and was hoping that he'd eventually realize nursing time was already up and doze off on his own. but 5... 10 mins had passed and he was still crying and begging for my milk. aghast! someone has to yield and again, i realized that has to be me.

it's an everyday scene in our house and it actually doesn't happen only at night... it can be at early morning, late morning, or afternoon. there were times when i thought he's happily playing with his toys but the moment he saw me seating whether in front of my desktop or in bed using my ipad he'd come to me, flash a big smile and utter "mihk?"

theo is already two but he sometimes feeds like a newborn. i was hoping that at his age i can only feed him two or three times a day. but it isn't the case and sometimes a feeding can take about half an hour. if i refuse to nurse him, he'd throw a fit, and this kind of emotional meltdown is what am not yet ready of and makes me feel a loser--a loser to a two year old!

yes, breastfeeding is the best for babies, even for toddlers. i still sometimes caught myself raving about its wonders, but at this point i think am already willing to discard them. should i already wean theo? at his age, how?

dairy farm / breastfeeding: call this easy?

the article below reminded me of the hardships i went thru to keep up in my commitment to breastfeed iñigo. well, it paid off as i was able to give him my milk for two and a half years but i really never thought i'd go that far during our first and most difficult month.

thank God it's a breeze this time with theo and i am proud to say that i have lots of milk! woohoo! i just don't pump often as am afraid mine will get engorged, which might bring me troubles later on. but it is evident with my already-tabachingching theo that he has an abundant supply of milk.

so this is what they call a "dairy farm", eh?

i am just happy. :D

theo already gained two pounds three weeks after he was delivered :)

Call This Easy?

Breast is best, mothers-to-be are told at antenatal classes. But are they
warned about how painful and difficult breastfeeding can be?

by Lucy Atkins



When I was pregnant for the first time a ''breastfeeding counsellor'' came
to our antenatal class to tell us that ''breast is best''. Given that a
friend had just told me breastfeeding was more agonising than giving birth,
I felt compelled to ask: ''Will it hurt?'' ''Of course not,'' laughed the
counsellor. ''It's what your boobs are designed for.'' She admitted there
might be a little ''discomfort'' if the baby did not ''latch on''. But, she
added, ''Many women even find it erotic.''

According to the UK's Department of Health statistics, most new mothers do
not agree. Despite concerted efforts at promotion, only one in five mothers
are still breastfeeding at all after six months. The''breastfeeding only''
rates are even worse – only 35 percent of babies are still breastfed from
weekone, 21 percent from week six, and at five months, it's only three
percent.

According to Robert Finch of the Department of Health's Infant Feeding
Initiative, ''Of those who give up in the first week, only one percent do so
because they have breastfed for as long as they wanted.''

Although over eight in ten mothers said they were aware of the health
benefits of breastfeeding, three-quarters of all mothers
had given their baby milk other than breast milk by the age of six weeks,
this proportion rising to 92 percent by six months. So why do we stop? Most
of us probably know that breastfeeding is good for babies: studies have
shown that a breastfed baby is likely to be brighter, healthier and less
prone to allergies than a formula-fed one.

Women are less likely to get breast, ovarian and cervical cancers if they
breastfeed and can (we are told) lose the pregnancy flab quicker that way.
And if the thought of a stomach like Madonna's won't persuade us all to whip
out our boobs, the message that breastfeeding is convenient and ''easy''
(nothing to sterilise, buy or remember) surely should.

But it is not that simple. ''There are,'' says Finch, ''wide and varied
reasons why women stop breastfeeding.'' One that will ring a bell for many
new mothers is that breastfeeding is not always as easy as it looks.

''It may be natural,'' says Finch, ''but it's not instinctive.'' This seems
to go against the antenatal message. Listen to any group of new mothers, and
some will be saying how breastfeeding was not the idyll they had expected.
We are, it seems, simply not prepared – psychologically as much as
physically – for the difficulties that can arise when we try to do the
''natural'' thing.

This was certainly my experience. I was told by midwives that on day three
postpartum my boobs would swell to the size of watermelons and start gushing
real milk instead of the gloopy colostrum that feeds the baby in its first
few days. They showed me various positions. They gave me a breast pump. I
waited with a growing sense of hysteria and inadequacy for the engorgement
to happen. It never did. This did not mean that I could not breastfeed. It
just caused unnecessary angst.

Most of us learn something of the physiology of breastfeeding before we give
birth. It goes roughly like this: when the baby is born, a hormone,
prolactin, tells the cells in the breasts to start making milk; the baby's
sucking then sends messages to the pituitary gland in the brain, which
triggers the release of another hormone, oxytocin, which in turn makes the
muscular walls of the milk-producing cells contract; this ejects the milk
down the duct and out through the nipple. It is what they call ''supply and
demand''.

But it does not always work so smoothly. My friend Rachel gave birth to
twins. Like me, she was reassured that her milk would ''come in'' (they said
on day five). It didn't. ''I was distraught,'' she says. ''I spent several
days in hospital with hungry and upset babies.'' When her milk supply still
hadn't come in a few days later (like mine, it took a fortnight to become
properly established), she had to start ''supplementary feeding'': that is,
to breastfeed, then give her twins formula. ''I was absolutely devastated,''
she says. ''I felt like a bad mother. I felt like I was feeding them junk. I
cried for a week.''

This may sound extreme, but according to Eleanor Jackson, a breastfeeding
counsellor, it is incredibly common: ''So many women feel like failures when
breastfeeding goes wrong, and so often it's just a matter of confidence.
Breastfeeding,'' she stresses, ''is a learned art.''

Government statistics bear this out. The chief reason we give up (48 percent
of us) in those early months is ''insufficient milk supply''. We either
believe or are told that our breasts are failing to produce enough milk. In
reality, says Jackson, it is extremely rare for women to be physiologically
unable to breastfeed (reasons for this may include breast reduction surgery
that has damaged the glands or a retained placenta in the first week or so
after birth).

The problem is that breasts do not always look or feel like they are
producing milk, and breastfed babies can guzzle frequently and voraciously.
This can be alarming if you were expecting to gush milk and have a baby that
takes efficient four-hourly feeds. Breastfed babies do not always gain
weight in the same way as bottlefed babies, either. According to Jackson,
''There is a huge ‘normal' weight range for breastfed babies.'' The health
visitor's growth chart, then, can be worrying reading for a breastfeeding
mother. When – as happened to me – a health visitor informs you that your
baby has not gained enough weight and that you should ''top up'' with a
bottle after each feed, it is easy to panic. My health visitor did not
discuss my diet, my rest or how often I was feeding my three-month-old baby.
Nor did she suggest places I could go for support. Instead, I was sent to
the chemist, feeling I had failed when, with support, I could have taken
measures to increase my milk supply.

OK, so there are worse things in life than feeding your baby from a bottle.
But if you are expecting your body to do it all automatically then setbacks
can be profoundly undermining. ''I asked the midwife in my antenatal group
whether I'd have enough milk for two,'' says Rachel. ''She told me,
‘Nature's a marvellous thing – of course you will.''' It was after the
problems set in that a health visitor admitted to Rachel that: ''In all her
time she'd only met one person with twins who'd been able to breastfeed
exclusively. And she had two nannies.''

Of course, childbirth educators and health professionals do not want to put
us off. But surely it would help if we were told beforehand that our breasts
might not do what is expected of them; that it is common for boobs to ache,
or block up, or get engorged, or nipples to crack; that our babies may not
gain weight exactly as the chart says; and that in the first six weeks they
may feed up to 12 times in 24 hours. To present us instead with a picture of
erotic mother-infant bliss is, surely, setting us up for a fall?

Wherever our expectations come from, it is clear that the support is not
always there afterwards. Another friend of mine, Tracy, experienced severe,
burning pain each time she fed her newborn. She was told by midwives, health
visitors, breastfeeding counsellors and her GP that nothing was wrong.
''You're just the kind of person who wants things to be perfect,'' said one
breastfeeding counsellor. Two months later, Tracy was diagnosed with thrush
in her nipples. It cleared up with some cream, and she had no problems from
then on.

So yes, of course we need to be encouraged; and yes, we need to be told how
valuable breastfeeding is. But we also need to know – in advance – how
''normal'' problems are. Antenatal realism might not solve the whole
breastfeeding issue – it is too complicated for that. But it might help
countless women feel better about themselves, whether they choose to
continue or not. And that cannot be a bad thing, can it?

the little boy is finally weaned!

it's been one week now since our 28-month old iñigo is weaned from breastfeeding... mixed emotions for mommy.  and

i am happy.  finally, mine (you know what it is) can take a rest. iñigo can also go now go to sleep on his own, without mine helping him to doze off. that gives me more time now to do my job or chores, and without being interrupted with "mommy, milk?".

but i am sad, too. it was really an emotional torture for me in our first two days when iñigo cried for milk but i didn't budge and jude just had to take him away from me. i also don't know if someone can relate with me on this: that somehow the emotional connection between me and my son was wounded. motherhood for me is magnified 10x whenever i nurse my child.

i never even thought we will come to this as i myself was not also ready. i never even let a single day passed without having him breastfed. yes, even if he didn't ask

i, too, was addicted. =)

 

breastfeeding for two years and still counting

the picture above was taken by jude inside the breastfeeding room of makati medical center's nursery section. if my memory serves me right, this was the night after i gave birth to iñigo. i was still a striving lactating mom here while iñigo was a thriving sucking newborn, giving you an idea that both of us went thru the arduous ordeal of breastfeeding. hungry iñigo bawled over my lack of milk as nothing probably dripped from my nips, while i cried and pitied myself and my son and felt lacking as a mother. i was in a state of depression for a number of days.

but that was two years ago. my constant question now is when will the little boy say "minish" (finished) in terms of breastfeeding and totally forget about my milk. it would be nice for me if he can go to sleep on his own and without the help of my breasts. and i would really be glad if i can stay long in front of the computer without him sitting on my lap and ask, "padede?". oh, i can't wait for that moment. =)

but on the other hand, i also want to savor the moments that he still clings to me like a newborn and chooses me over a can of lactum. because for all we know, this too shall pass.

and...

breastfeeding is best for babies for two years and beyond. =)

***

breastfeeding in public? why not! as long as you have the right gadget, mine was a knitted poncho i bought in a trade bazaar, you can do it anywhere and everywhere. =)

i've done it inside the malls, restos, church (que horror! just did it once) our car, aircrafts, buses, taxis...

even in hongkong disneyland park

and on the white-sandy beach of boracay!

o 'di ba? i don't care with the weird looks i get from other people. as long as my son is full and happy and i can't be charged with public scandal (as if), we're fine. =D

 

it's one of the reasons why i breastfeed iñigo (and why i can't wean him yet)

i just want to share this article i read from my monthly subscription to dr. sears family newsletter as it really made me ecstatic.

 

i hope the expectant moms here will take this article seriously. it's just one of the MANY advantages of breastfeeding your child. i admit it's not really easy at the onset (i myself have a lot of woes stories to tell, probably in my next blog if i have the time) but keep going still. once you've passed the critical "6-week" period, you're okay.

 

BREASTFEEDING BUILDS BRIGHTER BRAINS

 

We can't promise that breastfeeding will make your child a Nobel Prize winner, but research shows that babies who are breastfed are smarter when they get older.

• Children who were breastfed have I.Q. scores averaging seven to ten points higher than formula-fed infants. It's important to remember that these numbers represent averages for hundreds of children, not the effect of breastfeeding on a specific individual. So, if you want to raise the intelligence level of an entire generation of children, breastfeeding would be a simple and cost-effective way to do it.
• Studies have shown that children who are breastfed get higher grades in school, even after other influences on school performance are taken into account.
• The intellectual advantage gained from breastfeeding is greater the longer the baby is breastfed.

Although intellectual differences between breastfed and formula-fed children used to be attributed to the increased holding and interaction associated with breastfeeding and to the fact that mothers who breastfed were better educated and/or more child-centered, new evidence shows that there are nutrients in breastmilk that enhance brain growth.

Smarter fats. One key ingredient in breastmilk is a brain-boosting fat called DHA (docasahexaenoic acid), an omega-3 fatty acid. DHA is a vital nutrient for growth, development, and maintenance of brain tissue. Autopsy analysis of brain tissue from breastfed and formula-fed infants shows that the brains of breastfed babies have a higher concentration of DHA, and DHA levels are highest in babies who are breastfed the longest. Infant formulas made in the United States do not contain DHA.

Nutritip. To insure that babies get enough nutrients for their growing brains, it's important that breastfeeding mothers get enough DHA in their diets. Rich sources of DHA are fish (particularly salmon and tuna). Increases DHA will will benefit mom's health, too. Remember the nutritional rule of F's: four ounces of fish a day keeps central nervous system degeneration at bay.

Cholesterol. Another fat needed for optimal brain development. Breastmilk contains a lot of cholesterol, while infant formulas currently contain none. "Low in cholesterol" may be good news for adult diets, but not for babies--cholesterol provides basic components for manufacturing nerve tissue in the growing brain.

DHA, cholesterol, and other breastmilk fats provide the right substances for manufacturing myelin, the fatty sheath that surrounds nerve fibers. Myelin acts as insulation, making it possible for nerves to carry information from one part of the brain or body to another. So important are these brain-building fats, that if mother's diet doesn't provide enough of them for her milk, the breasts can make them on the spot.

Smarter sugars. Lactose is the main sugar in breastmilk. The body breaks it down into two simpler sugars - glucose and galactose. Galactose is a valuable nutrient for brain tissue development. Anthropologists have demonstrated that the more intelligent species of mammals have greater amounts of lactose in their milk, and human milk contains one of the highest concentrations of lactose of any mammal milk. Cow milk and some cow milk formulas contain lactose, but not as much as human milk. Soy-based and other lactose-free formulas contain no lactose at all, only table sugar and corn syrup.

Smarter connections. During the first two years of your baby's life, the brain grows rapidly, and baby's everyday experiences shapes brain growth. Brains cells, called neurons, multiply and connect with each other until the brain circuitry resembles miles of tangled electrical wires. Every time a baby interacts with her environment, her brain makes a new connection. Because breastmilk is digested faster, breastfed babies feed more often and therefore probably interact with their caregivers more often. Breastfeeding itself, with its skin-to-skin contact, the variations in milk flow, and the closeness between mother and baby, is usually a more interesting, more interactive experience than bottle-feeding. This is nature's way of insuring that babies get the stimulation they need for optimal brain development.

 

 

proud of our unorthodox way of parenting!

if there’s one thing that irks me the most as a mother is when i get unsolicited comments and advices on how we should raise our son according to their standards as our parenting practices is unacceptable. but what the heck! i didn’t ask for their opinion anyway. am happy with how jude and i fare as parents and i see that iñigo is pretty happy as well.

 

call me proud or stubborn but i will have it my way as long as i know that it’s the best for my son and it doesn’t inflict him any harm, at the least. parenting is not an easy job, that’s why i ready myself as early as i could as i never wanted to enter motherhood unprepared. i researched, i read, i asked. i can’t take the reason “sabi ng mga matatanda” to justify why i should or should not do such a thing to my son. my brain isn’t trained to think that way.

 

and i don’t think some people would pay me the same respect that am getting from them now, including my ate, a mother of three kids. she even thought that i did better than her in some facets. she’s impressed of my achievement of having successfully breastfeed her nephew even until this day. i told her it wasn’t that easy for me at the start. i was on the verge of giving up. but i never lost hope that one day there’s a fountain of milk that will flow down from my breasts. if it wasn’t for my stubbornness it would be too soon for my son to feed milk other than the one coming from me. some people were telling me that i should stop with breastfeeding because i wasn’t producing enough. one look at the milk i expressed made me feel more guilty. hahaha. but i shut my eyes and turned deaf ears to people around me. now, they are wowed on far i’ve come.

 

and we co-sleep with our child since his fourth day, which again is being frowned upon by some people. “you are spoiling him”, as they say. it’s also the same thing you’ll hear when you carry your child in your arms always. but spoiling for me means giving something to your kid that he will make him rot. i don’t think constant showing of affection is one. i even wished that i would wear iñigo, put him in a sling and carry him all the time. but i wasn’t that keen, with the next baby perhaps.

 

there are lot more things that we do and we don’t do that’s beyond bounds of conventional parenting. we bring iñigo along in our travels as we think that that the pros outweigh the cons of bringing him along; i didn’t massage his legs as i was told as i learned that babies are bowlegged in nature; i let him out even at night as i don’t believe in hamog; i give him another bath at night as he already stinks; and i give him more nutritious food other than those in jars or boxes.

 

but more than that, we give to iñigo what he needed most from us--our time--and we make sure that we spend it more with him. we sing songs and read books for him; we play balls or any other game he enjoys doing; we take him along to any place as long as it’s permitted; we cuddle and tickle him until he gets tired of laughing; we make most of our time together because we know that’s what really matter.

 

all of those we do to our son. you may find us incapable but that’s the most that we can do as parents.

 

at this point i would like to commend jude for being a wonderful father. parenting is never easy as i shared but i never heard him complain even if it means waking up at the middle of the night to give medicines to iñigo as it’s his schedule… while mine is in the morning. madaya ba? hehehe.

 

we are really lucky to have him as not all fathers are that doting to their kids… and are agreeing to their wives’ unorthodox style of parenting.

 

but he is.

 

breastfed babies are smarter babies

iñigo amazed me yesterday when i was putting together the rubber mats which he loves to disassemble. i was fitting in the "number 9" piece into the square mat when he saw me and hurriedly crawled to his bike's basket where he put the other piece i needed. he went back and gave the other piece to me... so smart of him! =D

...and when i give him something he wants and ask him "what will you say, iñigo?", he would instantly say "tezzz". that's "thanks!" hehe. see... my little boy is already that polite. =D

...and his sign of the cross already improved. he can start now with the "in the name of the father" by touching his forehead and wait for us to say amen for him to do the amen sign. we have a pious child in the house! =D

he also got the hang of some of mommy's instructions such as "close the door", "come back to mommy", "do not touch, it would hurt you", and my favorites: "hug mommy" and "kiss mommy". =D

according to research, breastfed babies are ahead by 5 points in IQ level compared to formula-fed babies. that's enough motivation for me to keep breastfeeding my son until he's two.

 

jude's birthday celebration

jude had a grand time in his last birthday. the celebration actually began on its eve as his boss bernie in p&g threw a birthday bash for himself and jude in his house in cabuyao central subdivision, just one block away from our future house.

i prepared tacos as our contribution while the other foods and the booze were shouldered by boss bernie, aside from the videoke rental. the p&g boys had a great time singing and partying all night. the other boys even took off their shirt and waved it in the air when a rock song was being played. oh well... as always said, work hard and play hard... and they did.

we went home past 10.00 as the little boy is already sleepy. oh yes, iñigo went us with us and showed his dancing prowess when someone sang "itaktak mo". hahaha.

we woke up early the next day as i was itching to join the mommy milkshake fun run at the fort--not for the run itself but for the freebies. hehe. the fun run was organized and sponsored by a lingerie manufacturer to help promote breastfeeding in the country. i didn't go home empty-handed as i received a brassiere and panty set from them. babaw ba? lol. jude, on the other hand, was aghast when he saw that the free shirts that we will be using in the run is in pink. pakipot pa... hehehe.

in the end, the three of us (you read it right... we were three and iñigo was again with us in the run and jude carried him using a carrier) ran and enjoyed the morning of jude's birthday. jude was even inspired to join another run with iñigo and was thinking of buying a jersey set for his son. sino ngayon ang oc? hahaha.

after that event we head on to vito cruz to fetch jude's family to have lunch in max's restaurant. afterwards, jude and i left iñigo and his yaya matet with mommy and off we went to mall of asia to watch transformers, which we were aching to see in a big screen even weeks before.

all these happened in jude's birthday and i was glad that he's more than happy as he did everything he wanted to do on his birthday, including wearing a pink shirt. =P

jude here was wearing sunglasses that i gave to him as gift for his recent birthday. i just let him blew a candle on a cupcake because all of us in the house were on low-sugar diet mode; hence, no cake as for now. palusot! hehe.