meet our nanay...

nope, she's not my mom nor jude's. we're not even related by consanguinity nor law. it's just everyone in my old boarding house called her nanay, and so i adapted the same term of endearment for her when i came into the boarding house, and so did jude when he was already our regular patron. hehe.

we paid her a visit last week since we were already in the area and once again, my admiration to this 75 year-old woman was revived as she recounted the many things that have had happened to her since i left her house more than three years ago (i was with them for almost a year before jude and i got married).

she's one of the people who inspires me even until this day. her story is the typical rags-to-riches, but nanay as i know her would vehemently deny that she's rich. okay. she's not rich... she only has a 10-door apartment and several prime lots titles tucked under her belt and yes, she's not rich. it's because nanay, inspite of everything she has, lives a very simple life.

nanay of all =)

here's more on the qualities that i admire, and wish to emulate, about her:

nanay is hardworking. until now, nanay would wash and iron her own clothes. she'd tidy up her "part" of the house as she doesn't employ a househelp. nanay who only finished grade six (she doesn't mind telling this to all people she knows) was already used to a difficult life even during her early years. she stopped schooling and went on vending street foods to support her family; this was her life until she met her husband whom she bore five kids. they put a sari-sari store after the wedding and that was the start of her success.

and i must add... it's probably because of this lifestyle why nanay is still active and healthy until now. except for her hypertension, nanay has a clean bill of health. i read before that our body deteriorates once we started to retire... this i must say is true. =D

nanay is frugal and wise in spending. she's already happy with a tortang talong and rice for lunch. she doesn't have a car and the latest electronic appliances in her two-storey house as according to her, these things are not needed and would only require regular maintenance, which can also deplete savings. she wears daster at home and simple tunic blouses and pencil skirts during sundays. her daily source of amusement is watching wowowee and the mexicanovelas in the afternoon, that is if she's not in the parish church where she actively serves as a commentator.

i must explain: it's not because nanay is living like a miser... she just knows where to put her money.

but nanay knows when and how to be generous... =D i was still with them when nanay treated her family for a boracay trip. even i was inggit! hahaha. she also watches movie from time to time with some of her granddaughters. when birthdays come, nanay would invite all her close friends (most are neighbors) and treat them for dinner. she also helps the poor priests and seminarians in san carlos seminary by way of subsidizing their needs.

nanay has the financial wisdom and skills more than of an mba-graduate. jude was there when nanay recounted her first venture in real-estate business. it was like this: she bought a lot using her savings at 50k and re-sold it at 150k within one month. that was how nanay acquired her wealth. until now, nanay would trade on properties or lots but the value is no longer in thousands, but in millions.

but more than anything else, and inspite of what she already has, nanay remains humble and unassuming. she'd refer to her other neighbors as mayayaman, as if she has no right to say that for herself. when i'd kid her about her status, she'd gently admonish me and refutes the claim that she's rich.

because as she simply puts is, she's nothing but "blessed".

what MY preschooler really needs (sharing a well-written article)

i grabbed this article from the pinoyhomeschool yahoogroup, which i joined in recently. it's been in my inbox for weeks (or months--that long!) but it's just this afternoon when i had the time to read the other mails. this one made my day as it validated what i know by heart is good for our son:

1. strong attachment is ALWAYS right and good. i winced on the oldies' advice of "not sanayin sa karga ang bata". gusto ko minsan isagot, "kelan pa... kung mas mabigat pa sa akin?" hehe. babies are babies so give them what they need most--time and emotional nurturing.

2. free-wheeling and unstructured early education. lots of exposures to the outside world as much as possible. this is one of the reason's why we bring iñigo even when he was still a toddler to zoos, gardens, farms, and recently, in the campsite! =) i don't rush him to learn the alphabets, and the numbers, and the shapes. i'll just get frustrated anyway. hahaha. i'm contented right now that his motor skills is very, very good.

and lastly,

3. quality time is quantity time. though this seems to be better said than done. well, let's just hope for the better for our family. GOD BLESS!

***

What Your Preschooler Really Needs

Susan Lemons

 

The world has a lot to say about parenting nowadays. From Dr. Spock to Dr. Phil, from the Super Nanny to our own families, a plethora of experts scold us with a never-ending barrage of advice--most of it conflicting. The newspapers and magazines scream at us about the needs of children and the latest unbiased study, while the publishing companies profit from the confusion by churning out numerous books on parenting every year. Slick ad campaigns report that parents need only buy the latest educational toy, or enroll their innocents in the newest educational program to guarantee academic success and future happiness for their children.

Meanwhile, parents are stressed and confused. According to CBS News, 54% of parents with 2-5 year olds admit to feeling worried about their children's academic progress, and more than 90% think that starting early is the key to success. Parents are enrolling toddlers into rigorous academic tutorial programs in record numbers, and routinely over-schedule their youngsters with play-dates, lessons, sports, and classes, all in hopes of giving their children some sort of advantage.

Whatever happened to childhood?

Homeschoolers are not immune to these phenomena, either. We see what is going on around us, and often feel the need to compete with our neighbors--no matter how hard we try not to. Many of us feel pressured to prove ourselves to our own extended families, as well. To make things worse, the push for early learning has now trickled all the way down to the curriculum suppliers; some are now providing academically based curriculum for children as young as two years of age. The result of all this? Parents who wonder, What is best for my child? Am I doing enough? What does my preschooler really need?

My answer: Preschoolers need what they have always needed. Preschoolers haven't changed. Preschoolers need their parents.

Everything your preschooler needs to know can be taught simply through good parenting. Now, what I mean by good parenting, is warmly responsive, loving and consistent care, balanced with discipline (Moore's Home Grown Kids).

The simplest definition of good parenting I've ever heard is from Anne Ortland, who says, "Good parenting is simply becoming what you should be--and then staying close enough to your children that it will rub off." She challenges us further by asking, "What will you become, so that your children will do great things for God?"

Mrs. Ortland's quotes neatly summarize what the Bible says about discipling our children. Proverbs 23:26 says, "My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways." Luke 6:40 says, "The disciple [we could insert student, or child here] is not above his master [parents]; but every one that is perfect shall be as his master."

I believe this is the greatest challenge facing Christian parents today; becoming what we should be and setting a proper example for our children. I've heard it said that when our children are misbehaving, we should always look to ourselves first--because our children are like a mirror, reflecting with their behaviors all we do and say. Good parenting is just as much about controlling ourselves as it is controlling our children--rememberi ng that as much is caught as is taught.

Besides becoming who we should be, and discipling our children, there are specific things good parents can do to help their young children learn and mature:

Remember what your children need most--YOU. More than the newest learning toy or curriculum you could buy, your children need both quality and quantity time with you. Preschoolers spell love T-I-M-E.

Provide for your children's emotional needs by allowing your children to become closely attached to you. These attachments are normal and healthy for young children. In fact, children who are strongly attached to their parents grow up to be confident, independent, and emotionally stable.

Develop a sensible, regular routine for daily life and stick to it as much as possible. A regular time for meals, snacks, naps, and stories provides children with security, and keeps them on an even keel emotionally. Bring your preschooler into your daily routine, talking about everything you do. True, your bed won't be made quite as neatly, but children's best play is Mommy or Daddy's work. Let your children learn while keeping you company--not only how to work, but how to count and measure while cooking, science while gardening, and so on.

Read, sing and talk with your children.

• Reading aloud to preschoolers is such a joy. Get expressive and use different voices while you read, pausing to ask your children about the pictures or about what might happen next. Encourage your children to chime in with books that have repetitive phrases. Look for books that will answer those why questions.
• Sing: You don't have to have perfect pitch to enjoy music with your children. Many finger plays don't involve singing at all, just chanting in a sing-songy voice. And if you don't remember the classic songs and finger plays of childhood, there are plenty of CD's to help you learn. Your voice is a musical instrument that goes with you wherever you go, and no matter how horrible you think you sound, your children love your voice and need to hear it. Also, be sure and help your children develop a taste for the classics by exposing them to the best in classical, folk, and religious music.
• Talk: Help your children grow their vocabularies and base of knowledge by talking to them about everything, and expounding on their speech. For example, if your child says, Mommy, look at that funny bird, you might say, Yes! That bird is called a sparrow. Do you see his brown feathers? Talk to your children constantly, about everything you are doing. Talk to them about everything they see, labeling things with their proper names.

Provide a stimulating home environment rich in books, music, and open-ended toys that grow with your children. Open-ended toys are toys that can be used many different ways. These toys encourage pretend play, imagination and creativity. Toys like play-dough, blocks, cars, dolls, puzzles, and Legos fit the bill. Keep paper, crayons, felt tipped pens, and other art supplies available for your children to use any time. And don't forget children's favorite play--outside play with pets, swing sets, balls, worms and tricycles. Children need time outside to play, explore, and run off steam every day the weather permits.

Let early learning be child-centered and developmentally appropriate. Don't rush into formal academics; instead, explore your children's interests through picture books and real-life experiences. Preschoolers don't need to do any sit-down, written work; let them master pre-writing skills through drawing and crafts, and teach concepts through play, discussion, and games.

Provide your children the opportunity to succeed by allowing plenty of practice with new skills and concepts through repetition. Repetition strengthens and reinforces learning.

Most importantly, disciple your children in the ways of the Lord. Introduce favorite Bible stories and themes of the Bible, and use them to teach simple doctrinal truths like God loves me, God made me, Jesus is God's son, and so on. Teach, practice, and train to develop good habits, manners and morals.

Parents who endeavor to do these things need never fear that they are not providing enough for their children. In fact, they are providing the very best for their children. No educational toy, preschool program, or expert preschool teacher can provide the love, individualized attention, and discipleship training loving parents can. I know this from first-hand experience-- I used to be one of those expert preschool teachers. When I was on playground duty, children would gather around me to talk or be held. I loved those children; but that love in no way compares to the love I have for my own children. After the first of my four was born, I realized that as a preschool teacher, I was nothing more than a poor substitute for Mom.  Those children weren't gathered around me because I was such a wonderful teacher; they were simply hungry for love and attention--the kind of love and attention they should have received from their own parents. Much of their day was spent in loneliness and confusion.

Don't let the messages of the world make you doubt your decision to disciple your children at home. Stand firm in the face of the expert's advice. Your children will never need anyone or anything more than they need you. Let them have the love, time, and attention of their own parents. That's all they really need.

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Susan Lemons and her husband have been married for 23 years, and have homeschooled their four children (ages 19, 15, 6 and 4) from birth. Susan has earned both Associate and Bachelor Degrees in Child Development, and serves the homeschooling community as a mentor, first contact for new homeschoolers, and conference speaker.

This article was originally published in the Mar/Apr '07 issue of Home School Enrichment Magazine. For more information, visit