someone from the forum i belong with gave me the answer.
read her blog: http://livingmyotherlife.com/2008/11/25/protecting-my-childs-innocence/
you may not know it but i have draft post in this site on our plan to migrate to another country in the near future. and what a coincidence that the country where this forummate of mine come from is the same country we eye to build a new nest for our family--new zealand. but the plan still remains a plan as we never made a serious effort to apply in its consulate office here in makati. even i myself doubt our interests to leave the philippines and settle for good in a foreign land. i have a lot of questions and apprehensions which i wanted to address first before we take the first step.
i never thought racism still exists in that country and i've never given this a thought. but if it's still do exist, even how isolated that case may be, then i would never entertain the idea again of migrating. as the author of the blog said, we adults can take it. i think i can take it for myself. but i definitely won't take it for my son and his future sibling. no one can cast stones on my kids even how fair their skin may be. no one also has any right to categorize my son an inferior class just because of his heritage.
if that's what it takes to have a cleaner environment, a nicer house, a colder climate, a better future though it's not certain then i think i can forego them all together just by knowing that my son is a first class citizen on where he lives.
Hi Marie! I've read the link to the blog. And I can't help myself to write you a very long message regarding this.
ReplyDeleteHaving lived in NZ for more than 12 years now, I finally found the country a second home. It's sad to hear about a child encountering such a demeaning behaviour from an adult, who's supposed to look after you. But I beg to disagree that only white people are racist. They are not the only ones. I speak out my mind when saying that even Filipinos are racists. We are one of the most racist people in the world. We do that in the Philippines as well. We look at these ‘others’ from head to foot when a white or black person passes by. We call Indians as “five-six” (referring to their popular financing options). We call the Chinese at “chekwa”. Nothing shows more racism than what our own race does. We see it everywhere. Imagine being born with brown skin but tries to hide this through “whitening lotions”.
It's not a racial phenomenon much less a white superior thinking. I am not saying this trying to take side with the white people or trying to reason out that their behaviour is acceptable. Actually, it is NOT. Racism is the worst outward human behaviour. And due to this, innumerable wars have been waged to fight for one’s rights.
Living in another man’s land will always pose a cultural difference to an immigrant. Everything is so different… from culture, to language, down to the very thing we are fighting for with each other – color of skin. Even if you are a New Zealander thro
Living in another man’s land will always pose a cultural difference to an immigrant. Everything is so different… from culture, to language, down to the very thing we are fighting for with each other – color of skin. Even if you are a New Zealander through papers, there will always be a feeling of being a second class citizen.
ReplyDeleteAnd migration is not an excuse to pretend, err, not even an escape to the fact that you are in a place where respect and acceptance for your skin color or ethnicity takes place smoothly. Bear in mind that you are only re-locating. A change in place does not necessarily indicate a change in human behaviour. Reality is that racism is a human phenomenon. What can we do to protect our own child? I start with teaching my son to see and learn that even with the color differences, people are all made by God and loved by Him in the same way as He loves a black person or a white person or a yellow person. I make a conscious effort not to make harmful comments against other races. And probably, when he grows up and encountered such, he deeply knows that his self-confidence and self-respect does not depend on his race or his ethnicity but on his attitude and behaviour as an individual.
Sorry, it's super long. I also wish that racism will be washed-out and forever gone. That way the world will be a bit better to live in.
hi, ann! i don't mind your lengthy reply. you've given me a different perspective on this issue. i will definitely consider your POV if ever migration popped up again in our minds. thanks sis!
ReplyDeleteprobably we're just paraoid parents... i was thinking what if such encounter happens when the kid is still defenseless like christine's daughter? though we want our son to eventually learn to deal with altercations or fights on his own still we are not sure if he will only be left wounded and everything will be back to normal after that.
ReplyDeletei also see kids below 12 years old as very fragile as their values and outlook in life can easily be dented by even the smallest of conflicts. even just by living in his country of birth kids already need to deal with bigotry and prejudice of different sorts, parang for me i don't want to add more burden to him by having to deal with racism too at this stage of his life.
on a lighter note, the top reason why we plan to migrate to another country particularly nz is we want to live in a colder place. honest! ang init na dito sa pilipinas grabe! =D
ReplyDeletejude read something about nz's long-term plan for a sustainable environment and combat na rin global warming and that made him choose nz. babaw ba? hehe.
Mag-comment rin ako (from someone who has been in HK for more than 4 years)...
ReplyDeleteMigrating has both advantages and disadvantages (these are all based from our experiences and may not necessarily be the same for others):
Advantages:
1. Better environment (like better discipline, government, infrastructure, quality of life, etc).
2. Easier to raise a family based on what you earn (as compared to the Philippines wherein kailangan kayod ka ng kayod pero kulang parati...)
3. Better future for your kids. They have more opportunities and learn to be more independent.
4. Better earning power (kasi foreign currency na kinikita mo)
5. Personally, our family became closer because we only depend on each other. Unlike in Manila, maraming distractions and gimmicks. When abroad, you tend to rather stay at home and spend it with family than go out....
6. Marami pang iba pero these are the first things that come to mind.
Disadvantages:
1. Away from your home country. Lungkot talaga ang kalaban mo, especially for those located so far away (like NZ, USA, Canada, etc). Kelangan talagang planuhin ang pag-uwi. Iba ang lungkot, even if kasama mo family mo, malungkot pa rin kasi you are on your own. Swerte kami at malapit lang HK sa manila.
2. Your kids will grow up in another culture and will be more of that kind of culture they are in than being Filipino. Even if the parents will try their all for their kid to be Pinoy, chances are paglaki nila, they will be more not pinoy....though there are few exceptions.
3. These I think are the 2 main disadvantages that come to mind.
My advise:
1. Try to visit NZ (or whichever country you are interested in migrating to), before you make the decision. Mahirap kasi kung doon nyo lang malalaman pagdating nyo there. Iba pa rin ang first hand experience.
2. Research, research, research. Try to talk to the people who have lived there....get the feel of it.
3. I agree with annsalvador, all of us are racists to a certain degree. Pinoy pa. Ang lakas manlait ng pinoy. Pag puti and tao, ok lang tayo, pero pag itim, may konting takot (I'm talking in general here). Anywhere you go, there would be racism, though at different levels. But the pinoys in us will always overcome that. even our kids, pag lumaki sila and naturuan natin ng tamang values, they could overcome that as well. These experiences help shape us to be a better person.
On a personal note, kung ako lang ang tatanungin, I would rather live back in Manila. Miske mahirap, iba pa rin ang sariling atin. Iba talaga ang mag-abroad. I guess its harder for the parents, and its actually easier for the kids to adapt. Kung wala kaming anak, baka sa Manila uli kami. But were thinking of giving the best life and opportunity for our kids, and unfortunately the Philippines does not give that (at the moment) kaya we decided to stay in Hong Kong.
One last advise...pray for it....ask God for discernment and He will show you the way....
it's in our plan but definitely not sooner... pwera na lang if cebu pacific has already a flight going there. hehe.
ReplyDeletewe have plans but definitely not this soon... pwera na lang if may flight na rin ang cebu pacific to nz. =)
ReplyDeletei get your point. there's still no place like home for us--adults. we're already used to culture and everyday dynamics of our country kahit mas marami ang nega. whereas for the kids, especially like daniel, yun na ang kakamulatan nyang place it's easier for them to adjust as they're starting from almost clean slate. siguro we should also consider the age factor espcially of iñigo's when we consider migrating since every stage has its also its pros and cons. thanks for the advice.
ReplyDeletehi marie...thanks for visiting my blog and linking on the incident about my daughter. Even though these isolated cases of bullying and racism have happened to us, I still rate NZ as one of the best countries to live in (if you like the "quieter" lifestyle and if you are a nature lover) and raise your kids.
ReplyDeleteI still think about what happened to my daughter from time to time but i take my cue from her (Bea). She told me she'd rather forget about it and move on and this is what I'm doing too.
It's summer holidays here in NZ at the moment which means school is out so no public transpo for Bea ergo, no bad incidents. Hopefully nothing else will happend when she goes back to school in Feb.
MrsG
http://livingmyotherlife.com
hi, christine! it's nothing. i'm glad to know that bea has already recovered from that traumatic incident. thanks for your feedback on nz, i do hope it's still until we decided to migrate. i just hope by then (but who knows when, heh) my son is already "tough" to handle such things. as you've said before, who knows what will happen to our kids when we are not around. God bless! =)
ReplyDelete