how financially healthy are we now?

the recent discussions in naw regarding investments and financial security made me remember the blog i did four years ago: http://8thoctoberweds.multiply.com/journal/item/18/how_financially_healthy_are_we

i left the items blank then but with hopes that i'll be able to fill them up within the next five years. now, after four years and another baby, our scorecard shows this...

	target amount		status
1. emergency fund equivalent to	Php 300k		achieved
six months' expenses
2. life insurance for us which is	Php 600k		achieved
equivalent to a year's expenses (exc. sss pension)
3. retirement fund for us which	Php 3 million		still saving via stocks
can sustain us until we're 70, or
probably 75 years old! =)
4. college fund for iñigo and future	Php 1M for each kid		still saving via pension plan and MF
sibling/s.
5. extra savings for other emergencies	Php 100k		replenishing since my father died
including grave sickness of other loved
ones
6. extra savings for travels and other	variable		achieved
leisures (or plans like business)

aside from those, we also have to invest again in a property since we already disposed our house and lot in laguna and will use the proceeds to pay as equity or downpayment. that means we have to allot again for monthly amortization of the balance. *headaches*

so can i say that we are financially healthier now? probably. jude and i are diligent when it comes to savings. we may have the moolah to buy the latest gadgets, upgrade our car... or buy myself a signature bag (but it's still my wish... lol!) but our future has to be secured first.  but what we cannot deprive ourselves are the annual family trips as we consider them as our reward.

but we still have to work and save more to achieve 'financial freedom'. jude has plans of retiring early but since past experience taught him to secure first the kids' education and our retirement, we have to work and save double-time so we can sustain our retirement. he also has plans of getting us a retirement house, in tagaytay or caliraya, laguna perhaps, so the more we have to invest now to achieve this.

these are just some of our dreams... let's see in my next update of this scorecard if they are already achieved... wish us luck again!

losing chickboy: iñigo's first heartbreak

the reason why i don't want yet the kids to have a pet is because they're still too young to take responsibilities in taking care of another being, much less understand the dynamics of life wherein people or things just come and go. i know they would have a hard time handling the situation when it's already time to say goodbye to things they have come to love; and honestly, i am not yet ready with an explanation.

that's why i wasn't pleased when iñigo got a pet chick from his school last friday. the teachers had this game of "agawang sisiw" for their araw ng wika wherein the kids should snatch a chick among the brood loosened out inside the makeshift pen they provided for that game. unluckily...err, luckily for iñigo... he got one. and so we brought it home and jude made an improvised cage for the fowl using a plastic box and he placed it under the staircase as it was raining hard last weekend. iñigo was so happy on his new pet which he named "chickboy" (after chicboy--his current favorite restaurant) though he never bothered to feed it or clean its shelter. I, on the other hand, was wishing that it will go away as i cannot stand the smell of its dung (okay... maarte ako! :D). it can also be a noise pollutant as it clucked incessantly. jude had to move it in front of our house and placed it inside iñigo's old ride-on-car so it won't get drenched even when the rain gets heavy.

but it was last wednesday night when our househelp noticed that there's no noise that was coming from outside. she then checked the box and to her surpise chicboy was no longer inside. she immediately told me about this and since chickboy can't also be found in the other units i surmised that somebody from outside the compound got inside and took the chick (burglary is very rampant in our baranggay).

iñigo got disappointed upon learning the news. but he wasn't that disappointed until after we said our prayers tonight as he already got worried over the plight of his pet chick. i was groping for an answer when he asked me, "mommy, is somebody already  cooking chickboy?" but instead told him that he just keeps on praying to Papa Jesus so the person who found chicboy will also take good care of it as we did. i was already feeling sad for iñigo at this point. i wished to lighten up his mood but was tacky to mention about a man from chicboy the resto, getting his pet chick because they have the same name. on this, he answered vehemently, "mommy, no, the restaurant man cannot get it... it's my pet!" the poor kid was already in tears. i further told him that the next fried chicken he will eat in the resto is probably chickboy--oh how naive i was to think that iñigo will also take it as a joke but obviously he didn't because the more it made him cry.

it's my promise that i will look for chicboy tomorrow which calmed him down and brought him to sleep. so there... anyone who had seen chicboy? or anyone who has a replacement for chicboy... please... GIVE THAT CHICK TO ME?!!!

musings on the long weekend and traveling

it's a long weekend. it should have been a great chance to travel even just out of town but we opted to stay home because aside from the stormy weather we can no longer afford another impromptu trip. the recent international travel, three family occasions/events, and unexpected expenses prompted us to dip into our savings which should not be the case as it's allotted for the downpayment for the house we're planning to get and also for the renovation which am sure is needed. i told jude as early as now that am okay with a very simple celebration for my birthday, just a lunch out with him and the boys perhaps. i'd rather give the budget to theo so he can have even a simple party on his 2nd birthday which is only a week after mine.

aside from birthdays, we are also looking forward for our camiguin trip this october, in time for our 6th wedding anniversary. but i still have to find moolah for our pocket money so we don't need to touch our savings again. i wonder if i can already touch my coin bank... :)

***

speaking of coin bank... do you still remember our trip to ilocos region almost two years ago? it was partly funded by the money we have saved in an empty 6-liter gallon of water which we converted as coin bank. i think half of the expenses were paid by coins. funny that while we're driving along NLEX i was busy counting the ten and five-peso coins as it's what used to pay for refueling and toll, and even for our food. oh how the gasoline boys and toll gate clerks loved us! :)

i hope we can still reach the ten thousand pesos-mark. it wasn't much i know but there's a different fulfillment that we get whenever we see our coin banks brimming. and yes, we're one of the hoarders of coins. hehe.

***

traveling can be costly and tiring, especially if it's with kids in tow. but it's quite addictive that's why we make sure that we go to other places at least once a year. jude and i also had dream destinations but unless we have the money to afford them OR we can take the risks in bringing the kids along, they will remain a dream.

case in point is the batanes trip which we planned early this year. i even almost booked a flight going there via sea air. but jude and i won't agree on whether we bring the kids  or not--he wanted to bring along inigo and theo but i think the boat rides are too risky for the tots. i just decided to cancel the trip. the reason that we can't bring the kids with us also holds true for a caramoan trip.

i also told jude that i want to do another trip to cordillera region (this place never fails to amaze me) like sagada or batad again while jude wanted even before to visit his family's hometown in albay in bicol region. but for all the places i mentioned it's the 12-hour drive going there which i dread about. i can already imagine the kids getting so bored and cranky, and me stressed over their behavior.

jude also dreams of greece and japan while i dream of new zealand. but we both agree that we should visit US and europe in our lifetime. okay... enough of dreaming! hehe.

a letter to papa after a year...

it was one year ago, at around 2 a.m., when i received a text mesage from mama telling me that you were in the hospital. my heart was pounding hard at that moment because i knew something was terribly wrong with you as before that day you phoned me to say that you were experiencing nausea and vomiting and was feeling weak. it was the first time you personally  called me to tell about your discomforts and from the sound of your voice you were like naglalambing... i told you to see a doctor immediately and to drink gatorade to replenish the lost fluids from your body, which i know you did. few hours after, mama texted me informing that you were already okay and was just sent home by the doctor with prescribed medicines. i was relieved. but i didn't know that later that night you started to vomit again and was weaker than you were that afternoon as you can no longer move your limbs.

i called mama as soon as i received her message and my heart pounded harder when i heard her talking frantically over the phone, "si papa mo bhe (short for baby as i am the youngest)... si papa mo...!!! doc, gawin n'yo lahat please?! babayaran namin kayo kahit magkano!" then dead signal. i was in our room at that moment and jude, who just arrived from the office, was standing beside me and was as curious as to what had happened to you. i was in total mess that time and couldn't decide what to do first. i thought of praying and i knelt to God and pleaded that He save you; called ate who was living in bicol that time to tell her the tragic news; then gathered the kids as we couldn't leave them especially theo. after ten minutes we were already heading to the hospital where you were rushed. i continued praying while inside the car as i was hoping that God would hear me. but when we were already half-way to the site of the hospital, a concerned neighbor of yours, who also assisted mama in bringing you to the hospital, broke the news thru a call that you were declared dead on arrival. it crushed my heart... in just a matter of hours, you who fathered me for almost thirty-three years is gone... and in just a snap of a finger, you who is so special to me was taken away.

you were already in the morgue when i saw you again. it was already your lifeless body which i embraced but i knew that you were just around and was listening to me. the more i felt so devastated when ate asked me that i just hugged you for her as she didn't think that she will have the chance to hug you once she arrived with her kids. if we really just could turn back the time papa, and ask one wish from God it is to have the chance to hug you before your last breath. i knew that it would be coming but i never thought it was that soon.

it was more than a year ago and i thought writing this blog which i attempted to write more than 11 months ago would be less painful. but tears are flowing from my eyes. it only shows that am still hurting over your sudden death. the regrets and what if's are still here but i must be reminded that God already called you to join him in heaven. there were a lot of nagging thoughts in my mind after your passing but time filtered it and now i had nothing but good to say...

i love you papa and i miss you so much. iñigo also misses you and you know what... he keeps on reminding me during our night prayer to mention about you to Jesus. he saw his picture with you during theo's baptism and he was happy that he had a photo with you.

i know you are already with our Creator as you ought to be. you were a good father. i would always remember the bonding moments we had when i was a kid... we'd bike around the neighborhood, you'd tutor me, you'd draw for me, you'd give me 25 cents everyday so i can buy the junkfood that i want. i know i wasn't a perfect daughter. there was a stage in my life when i thought you were so strict and i was rebelling. sorry if i'd given you heartaches and have caused you sleepless nights. everyone also thought that you were really good as even until your last breath you decided not to give us, your kids, anything to worry about. you chose not to be a burden and you even told me and jude that you are already happy and content to see your kids happy with their married life.

you were also a good husband. i never saw you lifting your hand to hurt mama. you were always forgiving and understanding. i could also not remember any weekends that you weren't around to spend it for vices. you were a family man. and together with her, you made a lot of sacrifices to send me and my siblings to good schools which i know were beyond your capacities.

and above anything else, you were a good man. you exemplified the virtues which you taught us such as honesty, humility, and diligence. the more i remember you as a man of principles. you fought for what you believed in no matter what you're going against at. and how can i forget your story of tocino? i got my big faith in God from you as i grew up hearing this story of yours as you loved to tell other people how God was so good to our family.

thank you papa for all the good memories... they were all saved in my memory bank. thank you for loving me unselfishly... i will pass this onto my kids.

and though i miss you so much i am somehow comforted by the idea that you are already settled and happy with Him. i thought right after your death that i already lost a father. but i realized that i did not, you were only flown Up to father us in a more special way.

love,
grace/marie/bhe

marriage encounter seminar

jude surprised me one day with a news that we are going to attend a marriage encounter seminar as announced in our parish. it was a good news for me and was so happy that i even made it as a stat in my facebook since the initiative was coming from jude. :) i really wanted ever since that we attend a marriage seminar as like other married couples we also have issues on our married life that i thought would be best answered with the help of a counselor who will give an unbiased, objective, even bible-based words of wisdom. let's accept it, in this modern times traditions and norms dictate how married couples should go about their married life and the basic tenets are usually ignored or forgotten. though jude and i are far from having issues which can break our marriage we both thought that it would be nice if we will get reminded of our wedding vows and responsibilities as well as husband and wife. uhm, nope, it's not a chance to be away from the kids as we brought them with us, along with our househelp. :D

so there we were in heart of jesus and mary retreat house in tagaytay last 13-14 august 2011. funny that jude and i were not in good terms when we arrived in the lecture room on the first day of the seminar--saturday--and i felt uneasy with him embracing me as it was required while we introduced ourselves to the group (we found out later on that there's a lot of hugging and kissing involved in this seminar). it was because he was dawdling earlier that morning even if he knew the call time which caused us to be late for the seminar--and being late and making a grand entrance is one of my pet peeves!

the seminar was a series of lectures that is based on the teachings of the catholic church on marriage, sharing by couple-presenters, and exchange of love letters between the husbands and wives. the love letters were related to the lecture/topic and were written at the end to give the husbands and wives the chance to express to one another their feelings, and to seek for confirmation and understanding of their thoughts on different issues. this exercise  which i believe was the core of the seminar was  made to instill to the participants the healthy and lovingly form of communication. there were nine couples who participated out of more than a hundred couples invited to attend that weekend activity. it was already after the seminar that i learned that most were non-paying and only us and the other couple who volunteered to attend paid the two thousand pesos registration fee. no regrets... we took it as a good investment and since it also covered our board and lodging, we think the money was really worth spent.

overall we were happy with the outcome of the seminar. though i found some of the activities quite cheesy (sign of old age? hehe.) like the prom night where the wives where greeted by their husbands with a red rose and were asked to dance to the music of gary valenciano and raymond lauchengco. i was also so eager for the activities to end as the kids were waiting for us in one of the rooms in the basement were they were cooped so as not to bother us during the seminar. it was already 11 p.m. when jude and i sneaked out of the prom and i almost broke to tears when i saw the kids' eyes swollen from non-stop crying. hay, i really can't still leave them even for one night... :(

the seminar was continued the next day, sunday, and a mass was also held right after it. i thought we can still tour the kids around tagaytay after lunch which i promised iñigo but the whole activity already ended at 4 p.m. with a graduation ceremony, complete with videoke fest. the kids were already sent in and my problem this time was iñigo tugging me every now and then as he was already bored and wanted to leave the venue.

jude and i were also surprised that we were chosen as the coordinators for the next marriage encounter seminar which is slated on february 2012. i really had no plans of getting active in the community (heart of jesus and mary prayer community) that organized the marriage encounter seminar as i had experiences of joining a religious community before and its activities really demanded a lot of time. but God really has plans for our family and who are we to go against Him, right?

bless your children

one of my best buddies forwarded this very inspiring email to me. it came in the time when i had one of the lousiest days as a mom as theo was super clingy and iñigo was such a headstrong. it was more convenient to nag and/or threaten to make them behaved as how i wanted to than to invoke patience.

this email reminded me of my foremost responsibility as a parent. until they can already think and decide for themselves i still am the biggest influence in their lives. my words can either make or break them so i have to be always cautious.

***

Thoughts on FAMILY - Bless Your Children by Victoria Osteen

 
We want our kids to be blessed

As parents, we can profoundly influence the direction of our children's lives by the words we say to them. Yet many parents fail to do so. "Oh, my kids know that I love them," a lot of parents say. "They know that I pray for them." Maybe so, but your children need to hear those words of blessing in their lives. And the good news is that it is not difficult to change the tone around your home. You can begin speaking positive truth into your children's lives any time you want. Joel and I try to speak God's Word into the lives of children in our natural, ordinary, "everyday" circumstances of life. For instance, when I drop our kids off at school, before they even get out of the car, I remind them, "You are blessed today. You have the favor of God."

Parents, you can do something similar. Speak God's Word over your children every day before they go to school or go out to play. You don't need to preach a sermon; just say something like, "God's Word says that He loves you, and He has something special in store for you today!"
 
Or pray, "You promised me in Psalm 91 that You will give Your angels charge over us and that no evil would come near our household. So I thank You that my children are supernaturally protected, and You are guiding them and watching after them. Father, You said that we're the head and not the tail, and You will surround us with favor. So I thank You that my children are blessed, and they will excel at whatever they put their hands to do."

Whether we realize it or not, our words affect our children's future for either good or evil. We need to speak loving words of approval and acceptance, words that encourage, inspire, and motivate our children to reach for new heights. When we do that, we are speaking blessings into their lives. We are speaking abundance and increase. We’re declaring God's favor in their lives.

All too often, parents slip into being harsh and critical with their children, nitpicking, and easily finding fault in whatever the kids are doing. "Why can't you make better grades? Go clean your room–it looks like a pigpen! You can't do anything right, can you?"

Such negative words will cause our children to lose the sense of value God has placed within them. Certainly, as parents, we have a responsibility before God and society to train our children, to discipline them when they disobey, to lovingly correct them when they make wrong choices. But we should not constantly harp on our kids. If you continually speak words that discourage and dishearten, before long you will destroy your child's self–image. And with your negative words, you will open a door, allowing the enemy to bring all sorts of insecurity and inferiority into your child's life.

Remember, if you make the mistake of constantly speaking negative words over your children, you are cursing their future. Moreover, God will hold you responsible for destroying their destiny. With authority comes responsibility, and you have the responsibility as the spiritual authority over your child to make sure that he feels loved, accepted, and approved. You have the responsibility to bless your children.

Besides, we all want good things for our children. We want our kids to be blessed. Why not put those thoughts and feelings into words? As Joel likes to say, "A blessing isn't really a blessing until it is spoken." Say those words aloud that will bless your children: "You are a child of God. God has good things in store for you. You are blessed and cannot be cursed!" Then watch to see how your child begins to thrive, how his attitude about himself will change, how her actions with others will improve, as the blessings of God begin to take root in the lives of your children.

inigo at almost five

it's quite hard to believe that our used-to-be small bundle of joy whose giggles and farts were sure to make me and jude laugh is turning five years old in two weeks. i was looking at his baby pictures lodged in my flickr account and can't help but feel nostalgic. he was our only baby then and all our attention was for him alone. now inigo is already a big brother to theo and i can honestly say that he does this role very well. we often tell him how good he is for not fighting back at theo - we know it boosts up his 'good kuya' points. :)

what also makes me and jude proud of our first-born is his precocity. i still find time to homeschool him and as of this date, he already knows how to read two to five letter words using phonics. he also knows the numbers up to 100 and can do simple addition and substraction. but the subject that inigo is so interested about, which sometimes consume much of his time is natural science particularly the solar system/outer space, dinosaurs, and volcanoes - i think he's obsessed with the last, no joke! he draws them everyday, checks them in the internet, and he goes to every detail of each.

inigo is also one inquisitive boy and i often find myself scrambling for age-appropriate answers to his questions. he already asked on how theo got inside my tummy, how his lolo joe was taken out from his tomb and ascended to heaven, who created God and why he created earth... and i was like "uh... let's check in the internet first'. hehe.

i've also thought that he has become more creative and resourceful. i was able to talk to his teacher last year and i was overjoyed to hear that inigo is gifted in some areas like spatial and visual skills. playing with blocks remains one of his favorite play and he uses this toy to express tangibly his thoughts and it just amazes me to find out what's going inside his mind. last holy week he surprised me by doing three crucifixes and pointed one for Jesus. i never thought inigo is that religious until that afternoon.

talk about being pious, inigo loves and never fails to read the bible every night - i am really one proud momma because of this! :) we already read his bible (the version for kids) five times already and we are back to genesis again.

on physical side, inigo seems to be on the lean side. people always comment on how slim he is now. these comments don't really bother me since inigo is still heavy. but i admit that lately his appetite for food fluctuates - there are days he eats a lot and there are days when i have to cajole or scold him.

but one possible reason also why inigo slimmed down is because he's now active in sports. we enrolled him again last summer in futbol funatics for soccer and what do you know... his motor skills and confidence improved a lot. he's alerady running for the goals and he hit the goal a total of three times in the last module.

...and how can i forget, inigo has learned to swim! this milestone really wowed me and jude, and the friends who knew about inigo's pseudo phobia for water. we almost backed out on his first day because he was in tears when he was asked to dip in the big pool. thanks for  the kiddie pool nearby as it's where he'd be warmed up first before the actual lessons. was also thankful that we persisted and on the fourth session inigo was already paddling and kicking without being held by his coach. i, the mommy, was so happy!

but  the biggest milestone he had as of this date, and one which made me happiest, is when inigo was finally convinced (take note: not forced and no crying moments) to use his potty trainer, and that started last april. so all he needed pala was a reward... we used the reward system and for every pooping done on the potty he'd get a chocolate or cup of ice cream afterwards. the 'grand prize' which he got after using the potty for the tenth time  was a timezone treat. since the, using the potty was never an issue - ciao diapers for good! :)